


the city

by nefariousness



Series: music for cars [2]
Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: M/M, Photographer!Seongwoo, band!daniel, i still dont know how to tag, idol!daniel, seongwoo and minhyun are still just bffs, still the 1975 inspired
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-22
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-04-14 13:32:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 30,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14137047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nefariousness/pseuds/nefariousness
Summary: seongwoo likes to take picture of beautiful things (and he decided that daniel is an art)





	1. the city

**Author's Note:**

> This is a lot, I have to tell you guys this first, it's a whole 20k story so bare with me :')
> 
> Special thanks to my editor, [ash](https://twitter.com/loveongnieI) , she's just the best and she have lots of amazing fanfics, please check them out too <3 
> 
> And I know I have been hinting you this for I don't even know how long, so I hope you guys will enjoy this as much as I enjoy writing it :)

Kang Daniel never felt smaller than when he did right then, standing in the middle of one of the busiest cities in the world, both hands buried inside of his leather jacket as he was trying to find some warmth on that one particular chilly evening. Daniel thought again about the question that had been lingering on his mind since he landed earlier that morning – out of all the cities in this entire world, he just had to pick one of the most crowded ones due to the big population of people.

“It’s loud, it’s hectic, and it is the opposite of everything you imagined about having a break, hyung, think about it again.” Park Jihoon told him the night before, as if Daniel would suddenly cancel his flight and reschedule to somewhere _better_. But Daniel has his own reasoning. Daniel always thrived the hustling crowd and the long traffic, he loves the sound of the packed schedule, and he did believe that he is as tough and rigid as New York City.

But more than that, Kang Daniel wanted to find himself again in the middle of the city that truly never sleeps.

 _Hundred and One announced indefinite hiatus, the members and their representative label have refused to hold any press conference_ . It was the headline in one of the articles from the news sites that Daniel just _accidentally_ opened on his tablet. It was written in bold black letters, right there for everyone to see how the mega alternative-rock band from South Korea has decided to take a break.

Daniel stop caring about what the media have to say about celebrities a long time ago, but he couldn’t stop himself from opening more articles and read them nonetheless. It was almost eleven in the evening when Daniel found himself sitting on the cramped shop with a bagel on his tiny table, as he read more news about his band’s decision for taking a break to find a huge portrait of himself right away – Daniel decided that he never look uglier than that.

 _Kang Daniel had a breakdown and left the concert’s encore – exclusive details of why people suspected him as the main reason of Hundred and One’s sudden hiatus_.

In Daniel’s own defense, it was barely a breakdown – he was just crying a little too much and people thought he was dying, including his managers and the whole crew of the concert – maybe it was because of the fact that he is an asshole who never cried even once since his debut when his other members cried at some occasion, so when he actually shed some tears, everyone thought he was at fucking death’s door, _great_.

Daniel scoffed, but nonetheless he stormed out from the shop and actually bookmarked a few articles about the band. It was stupid but he just wanted to know what the media had to say about him – it was ridiculous that the hiatus was creating such a big fuss. Daniel always thought being in a band was a cool thing, but after becoming the main guitarist and the main producer of the most popular alternative-rock band at the time, he decided that things were really never as it seems.

Debuted at the age of twenty, Kang Daniel has dedicated his youth to composing songs and spent most of his times with his guitar. He loves his members – they are the greatest people. He loves that he gets to travel around the world just to sing and entertain and he loves that he has millions of fans that are willing to love him. But the thing is people worship him when he didn’t even like himself and what he has become.

So when they decided to go on hiatus after their latest concert, where Daniel cried despite his sturdy persona, people was completely mind-blown. “Kang Daniel broke the band, he’s a fucking emotional egoistic person, and he cried like a little girl, feels stupid about it and decided to drag his members down because he is ashamed of himself,”. “Whatever Kang Daniel’s problem is that made him cry that day, he should man up and face it instead of making his band on the verge of doom,”.

Daniel has heard and read these kinds of comments a lot by now but he still wanted to scream badly at those people – honestly for the sake of common sense, did people really think that it was because of his tears that they went on hiatus? Did they think he is that stupid that he will let something so small to affect the whole band? Will he really let those six years of hell die in a ditch just because he was feeling _extra_ emotional that night?

He focused so much on reading more of what the journalist and the people have to say about his hiatus while walking down and didn’t realize he hit another person and made him almost fall along with the stranger’s things and a couple of his things too – including his black leather journal that he never left since he decided to leave Seoul, because he was trying to write ( _yes_ , the Kang Daniel also moved to New York so that he can write actual _things_ , not just lyrics).

“Sorry.” Daniel noticed that the stranger’s English sounded a little bit off. He then figured out why when the latter finally faced him – _oh_ , another Korean soul.

“That’s okay, I’m sorry too.” The man was a bit taken aback by his sudden Korean, but smiled nonetheless as he helped Daniel gather both of their things. Daniel noticed how the other male paid a little more attention at the tablet on his hand.

“Such a shame, you know, I don’t think there will be another rock Korean band to be as big as _Hundred and One_ , I hope they will be back soon.” The man smiled slightly before he handed Daniel a journal.

“Yeah, I hope so too.” The latter probably didn’t recognized Daniel much with his extremely large hoodie underneath his leather jacket that was covering his face. Plus, it was already late and that’s probably why the latter left without saying any other word.

That night Daniel didn’t know whether he hate himself more for actually reading the ignorant media or actually agreed with the stranger about him hoping his band to come back.

 

\---

 

Daniel wasn’t exactly that surprised when he found Kim Jaehwan in front of his newly rented apartment, with two huge suitcases beside him.

“Oh, great. You are alive, asshole, now help me bring my bags,” Jaehwan said as he pulled one of the baggage while letting Daniel help him with the rest.

“How did you know my address?” Daniel raised his eyebrow, skeptical, as he closed the door behind him.

“For fuck’s sake, Daniel, because Jonghyun hyung told me of course. Do you think I will be here, making sure that you are alive and eat well, if it’s not because of Jonghyun?” Jaehwan scoffed nonchalantly. “And because apparently you are still an ass, I never knew it would be so hard to tell Jisung hyung that you are going to New York,” Jaehwan added.

“I told him I was going somewhere.” Daniel shrugged.

“Well, heaven is somewhere too, Daniel, or hell in your case, because everyone thinks you are suicidal.” Jaehwan rolled his eyes. “And next time you want to give information, it will be effective to just give it on our group chat, not just Jonghyun. Jihoon is dying to know whether you made it safely or not, I mean, if you don’t want the company to know, at least tell us, _your members_.” Jaehwan sighed.

“So, you are going to stay with me?” Daniel asked instead.

“Unfortunately for both of us, _yes_ , Jonghyun wanted me to make sure that you don’t do something stupid and to clean up your boy toy if I ever find one in the morning,” Jaehwan replied sardonically.

“Jonghyun hyung sent the wrong person,” Daniel scoffed.

“As if I don’t know that. We’re probably going to be too drunk to go home tomorrow and sleep on the pavement instead, imagine the headline.” Jaehwan smirked.

“Hundred and One’s front man and guitarist found wasted in New York’s street, looks like they are really not going to come back anytime soon.” Daniel chuckled sarcastically.

“It will be nice, if that really happened,” Jaehwan added.

“Tell Jonghyun hyung not to worry though, I have been handling myself nicely for six years now. I’ll be fine and I’m sorry he had to burden you with such thing,” Daniel said afterward.

“Daniel, he’s our leader, you go tell him yourself that and let’s pretend that he will stop worrying because of your lame statement of nicely handling yourself, especially with all those triggering and stupid headlines,” Jaehwan deadpanned.

“I’m fine, really.” Daniel hoped that somehow Jaehwan would buy that, but the lead singer didn’t as he shook his head.

“We have been together for years now, Daniel,” Jaehwan stated instead. “Should we hold a press conference? I don’t like that they’re pointing their fingers only at you, when this is basically what the four of us want.” Jaehwan looked at him, and Daniel sensed that the rest of the three had been discussing about it. They just need his permission to do so.

“You really don’t have to. We don’t owe the public any explanation, if we are tired then we deserve a break,” Daniel reckoned.

“Anyway, happier topic, please, no work discussion in the middle of a vacation, how’s your writing process going?” Jaehwan said when he caught the sight of a black leather journal on the coffee table – Jaehwan had one too, since Jihoon bought the same one for all of them as a friendship token, he supposed – but Jaehwan noticed it was slightly a little smaller than it should be.

“Haven’t touch that thing since three days ago. I’ve been composing songs instead, fuck my life.” Jaehwan heard Daniel groan from the back when he picked the journal up and opened it.

“Don’t worry, next thing you know, Kang Daniel is the newest New York Times’ best-selling _author_ just like Hundred and One tops billboard, but hey, quick question, Daniel.” Jaehwan stopped his sentence when he found some odd things about the journal. “Are you supposed to attend a gig and apparently you play drum now?” Jaehwan raised his eyebrow skeptically at the taller guy, who was then trying to light up his cigarette.

“Do you know how obtuse you sounded just now? It’s irritating, you know I haven’t even touched my guitar recently, let alone drum, heck, since when do I play drums anyway?” Daniel snorted as he inhaled the cancerous stick.

“This is what’s stated in _your_ journal, see for yourself.” Jaehwan threw the journal when Daniel came closer – fortunately he managed to grab it. Daniel then opened the latest page that had writings on it and found a long paragraph but one sentence caught his eyes immediately.

 

 _16_ _th_ _November 2017 – Drum gigs @Barbes between 6_ _th_ _and 7_ _th_ _Avenues in Park Slopes, 8PM, bring extra drumsticks._

 

“So?” Jaehwan looked at him expectantly and Daniel just gave him a cynical look.

“This is not my journal.” Daniel began to flip some old pages and realized that he brought the wrong journal all along.

“Yeah, no shit, Sherlock. You lost yours?” Jaehwan raised his eyebrow in confusion when it hit Daniel that he dropped his when he accidentally thumped to a stranger three days ago.

“Shit, it got mixed up with some guy’s journal.”

“Some guy, eh? Kang Daniel, I didn’t know you would be back in the game so fast, indeed.” Jaehwan wriggled his eyebrow that Daniel found kind of revolting.

“I bumped into someone and our things scattered to the ground. He must have taken mine then gave me his instead.” Daniel ruffled his hair in frustration.

“Heck, why did that legit sound like lyrics? Man, you can’t be helped really, just go back writing music,” Jaehwan sniggered at Daniel’s remark.

“I have to get my journal back. That’s my upcoming book material, and it’s confidential, Jaehwan,” Daniel stated.

“Well, do you see me stopping you? Besides, this guy could be hot, get his number, Daniel, he even plays drums,” Jaehwan snickered which made Daniel winced in disgust.

“My story is out there in the verge of being leaked and all you care about is the possibilities of how hot this stranger could be?” Daniel ranted.

“Goddamn, Daniel, this guy could be something else and all you care about is how your most probably three-paged –,”

“Six,” Daniel snapped.

“What’s the difference? Point is, if fate has spoken, _my son_ , Daniel, you are going to take a break, go to New York and bump into some guy that will accidentally give you his journal instead of yours, then you have to go after him because it’s the fucking fate speaking,” Jaehwan answered.

“You think that almighty fate is the one that arranged my meeting with this guy and this guy is solely the reason why fate has let me have a break?” Daniel raised his eyebrow in disbelief.

“Yes.” Jaehwan nodded nonchalantly.

“Why?” Daniel snorted.

“Because you need it, Daniel,” Jaehwan said as he pointed at the black journal in Daniel’s hand.

“Need what?” Daniel scrunched his eyebrow.

“A fucking thing to put your faith in,”.

 

\---

 

Daniel knows instantly when they announced a break from the high-life and glamorous deathly music industry, people will blame him and bring back all the past stupid scandals he was involved in. Daniel has prepared himself for it; he was basically all set when they finally dropped the bomb – or that’s how he thought, because he actually felt like dying alone when he saw the first thing that popped out when he typed his name at the search engine.

_Kang Daniel dating scandal, Kang Daniel to leave Hundred and One, Kang Daniel smokes, Kang Daniel drugs scandal, Kang Daniel bastard._

Daniel wanted to slam his laptop. Maybe Jonghyun was right: this is not something he can handle. At least not alone – when he suddenly remember about the journal that was resting on his bedside table. He planned to give it back to its rightful owner, so that also meant that he would have to come to the gig tomorrow and he hoped that the stranger would be there.

At first, he thought reading the rest of it would be impolite but he needed something to distract him for a while from those shit articles and hell, if this guy is really a fan of his, judging by how he sympathized with the band being on the verge of disbanding when they first bumped into each other, the latter must’ve already scanned and read Daniel’s journal thoroughly – most probably also posted it online but there is no sign of that. Until then, Daniel thanked goodness for it.

The first thing Daniel noticed is that the stranger has a quite strange surname and the second thing was that the entire journal was written in the mix of Korean and English, and a lot mentions of drums and photography. There is also his music references and monthly playlist written neatly, polaroid pictures, his class schedule, his diet meal, his workout plan – Daniel concluded that it was a daily journal.

So, the male’s name is Ong Seongwoo, the final year master student of New York Film Academy, majoring in photography and image making. Seongwoo is a year older than Daniel, Seongwoo doesn’t like hot food, Seongwoo plays drums for occasional gigs with his college friends, Seongwoo has a best friend whose name is Hwang Minhyun, who lives in Seoul and Seongwoo listens to Hundred and One, according to his monthly playlist.

Daniel feels like a stalker and invading someone else’s privacy, but in his defense, in order to know where to find _Ong Seongwoo_ , he needed to read the journal, including the endearing small notes in between - the entries and the to-do-list Ong Seongwoo scribbled on the journal.

 _6_ _th_ _May 2017 – Ship the thick business book to Minhyun or he is going to burn down your vinyl collection and you have nothing else in Seoul._

 _1_ _st_ _June 2017 – The 1975, Madison Square Garden, you worked so hard on the ticketing so don’t be late you sleepy ass._ (Daniel laughed so hard at this part; in addition, it was written with a bold red marker).

 _25_ _th_ _August 2017 – Happy Birthday, to me! To the greatest Seongwoo-ssi_. (Daniel was more attracted to the polaroid stuck beside the note, which was who he assumed to be Seongwoo himself, holding a record vinyl with a huge two and seven on it).

Daniel had to admit that even with the low quality picture, this Ong Seongwoo guy looks handsome. He was smiling goofily at the camera and it was the first picture that had his face on it. Daniel also decided that maybe this Seongwoo guy is a nice person who won’t do anything with his precious journal and that they could talk about how Seongwoo needed to keep whatever he read on Daniel’s journal as a secret.

“Done being a creeper?” Jaehwan’s voice startled Daniel as he hurriedly closed the journal and turned his body around just to find Jaehwan staring at him in full judgment as the latter leaned on his bedroom’s door frame.

“I need to know who he is,” Daniel stated in defense.

“You just need to know where to find him and yet you read the whole journal. Wow, talk about invading someone’s privacy,” Jaehwan deadpanned.

“I’m just trying to figure out what kind of person he is, and hey, he must’ve read my journal too anyway, so I’m just being fair here.” Daniel shrugged.

“Okay, smartass, whatever makes you sleep at night.” Jaehwan rolled his eyes.

“Hey, quick question though, Jaehwan,” Daniel suddenly spoke. “If someone listens to our music, don’t you think it’s only right that they like us too? I mean, personally as a band?” Daniel raised his eyebrow in true curiosity.

“Well, maybe Seongwoo doesn’t care about our faces and only cares about our songs, so, _no_ ,” Jaehwan replied in amusement, which made Daniel groaned in disdain.

Daniel then decided that he was _that_ devastated that Seongwoo’s _ordinary_ journal could make him that curious about him, but maybe he was _that_ depressed when he found himself re-reading throughout the whole journal, each one of it, paying attention to every one of its word carefully.

 

\---

 

Turned out Barbes is a decent bar and performance space in Brooklyn. Daniel drove for like one hour just to find the place – and it was kind of packed that night, so Daniel decided to wait outside the building just in case some people recognized him and he didn’t really want that to happen. It was much colder that night so Daniel had to tighten the grip on his coat multiple times just to get some warmth. It was almost ten in the evening, but there was no sign of Ong Seongwoo finishing his gig.

He was about to call it a day and let his journal never be found forever when someone tapped his shoulder gently. “Kang Daniel?” It was the exact same man that bumped into him, the man inside the picture, too. It was Ong Seongwoo, fully clothed in washed out denim jacket, hair covered in sweats, and Daniel noticed the latter was holding _his_ journal. 

“You have my journal,” Daniel responded almost right away – he cursed himself internally at how he sucked at being polite.

“You have mine too,” Ong Seongwoo pointed at Daniel’s hand. “Should we trade, _now_?” Seongwoo raised his eyebrow in hesitation.

“Sure,” Daniel replied hastily.

And the plan was supposed to be Daniel giving back Seongwoo’s journal, get back his, most probably have to give the latter some money if it was needed so he won’t leak his journal anywhere – if Seongwoo somehow had a copy – before he went home and prayed that the latter actually respect his privacy.

“I’m not telling anyone, if you are worried about that,” Seongwoo suddenly said when he received his journal back. Daniel sighed in relief – at least he was right about how Seongwoo is a nice person. So, Daniel decided that that was when he was supposed to say thank you, walk away, and go home, but Daniel suddenly had a hard time keeping up with his own plan.

“So, do you know me?” Daniel raised his eyebrow in amusement as he examined his journal, which Seongwoo responded with a confused face.

“You are Kang Daniel, that’s all I know, unless you are truly the guitarist of Hundred and One like how you stated at the very first sentence of your journal, which I don’t know how to react to that since well, you could be lying?” Daniel hated it when Jaehwan was right about Seongwoo not caring about them except their songs.

“Right.” Daniel nodded hastily – he didn’t really know why his heart sunk a little bit at the thought of Seongwoo not knowing who he was but nonetheless, it shouldn’t be a problem – they are just two strangers that somehow found their way to each other with an ultimate coincidence. “Yeah, you should probably go back, and I should, uh, go home, thank you, by the way,” Daniel stuttered all of the sudden – very unlike the usual Kang Daniel.

“Okay, thanks for bringing back my journal, I guess? I really appreciate it.” Seongwoo somehow smiled at him, and Daniel’s mind suddenly became foggy.

“Wait, wait,” Daniel blurted out at the end. “No, this can’t be over like this, I am not letting you go like this.” Daniel blamed himself for writing too much music that his daily conversation then sounded like a lyric from a song.

 

“You are coming with me,”.

 

\---

 

“Okay, so we settled that you’re not lying.” Seongwoo was still in daze when the man in front of him literally dragged Seongwoo to the nearest café and seated themselves at the outdoor table as the first thing he blurted out to Seongwoo was the fact that he is the Kang Daniel, guitar extraordinaire, global icon of Hundred and One – Seongwoo can’t believe that the latter actually referred himself as a global icon.

Seongwoo was looking at Daniel skeptically until he decided to search his name on Google and turned out the guy really has a legitimate Wikipedia page and an official profile on the band’s website. “Okay, so, listen, Daniel-ssi, I respect your privacy. I won’t leak it, I promise, so you really don’t have to bring me here, to do whatever you want to do,” Seongwoo said. 

“Yeah, I figure, but I just, I don’t know, I read yours too,” Daniel replied.

“Well, that means you know almost everything about me, congratulations,” Seongwoo snapped in amusement.

“To make it fair, you can almost find everything about me on the Internet and my journal speaks up some of the most confidential stuff.” Daniel shrugged.

“It was just a six-paged platitude,” Seongwoo muttered nonchalantly.

“Well, okay, I’m a beginner, spare me,” Daniel replied hastily.

“So, why did you bring me here? Do you want to talk about something? Ah, I listened to one of your songs once, and I liked it, but I never really bothered searching anything else, sorry for that,” Seongwoo reckoned. “And about the comment that I made when we bumped earlier, it was because one of my classmates freaked the hell out about it, so, I just happened to be there when she broke down,”.

“That’s okay, at least you listened to one of it.” Daniel smiled slightly. “And I know you like The 1975 more, so,” Daniel added with an amused chuckle.

“You know what? This is really weird for me since you know literally everything about me from that journal like, when is my birthday?” Seongwoo asked.

“August 25th,” Daniel snapped almost too immediately and slapping himself internally in the process because it was so embarrassing that he remembered the details of Seongwoo without really knowing the person.

“Well, now it’s kind of creepy that you remember it,” Seongwoo replied with a slight chuckle. “I should do a research about you when I got home then, so we can be at equal place,”

“Sounds like a plan,” Daniel said as he pulled out a cigarette before he realized he didn’t have any lighter.

“You could use mine,” Seongwoo suddenly said as he pushed the black lighter to Daniel’s direction, which he took gladly.

“You smoke too?” Daniel said when he was about to light up the stick.

“Once in a while, when I’m stressed and need some escape tool, I guess you’re more of a regular, huh?” Seongwoo raised his eyebrow.

“I would say that I only smoke when I’m stressed too but I’m stressed all the fucking time because of my demanding job. Will you still categorize it as regular, _hyung_?” Daniel smirked as he blew out the smoke.

“ _Hyung_ , wow, we are on that level of friendship already,” Seongwoo replied in amusement.

“Can I call you with that from now on then?” Daniel said.

“I can’t really say no to a global rock icon.” Seongwoo shrugged nonchalantly, which somehow made Daniel chuckle – the newly founded light feeling on his chest was strangely exciting.

“Now that it came out from you, it does sound really stupid. Why did I say that earlier again?” Daniel raised his eyebrow.

“Just don’t say that to new people ever again, like it’s a really bad first impression,” Seongwoo exclaimed.

“So my first impression is bad?” Daniel smirked, again.

 “Not really, it’s more of intriguing, like, I want to know more about you. Well partly because you know a lot of things about me, but since you said I can find everything on the Internet, I should just do that,” Seongwoo remarked. 

“You could ask me too, if you want to,” Daniel replied. 

“Nah, but if I do some other time, do I have to pay since you are like a celebrity?” Seongwoo raised his eyebrow.

“I’m technically unemployed since I’m on a break, but if you want to pay me so badly, then you could show me around New York sometime. I mean, take me to your favorite ice cream shop at Times Square, perhaps?” Daniel grinned.

“God forbid that I have a journal and live in peace, and then some rock star just decided to scan every page of it and thought I could be his personal tour guide and instant friend,” Seongwoo exclaimed.

“But it’s a deal,”.

 

\---

 

“Kang Daniel, born in Busan, birthday is on December 10th, a year younger than I am, the guitarist and one of the main producers and songwriters of Hundred and One, debuted six years ago at the age of twenty, and your main charm is the tough and bad-boy personality.” Seongwoo literally read it out loud as soon as he spotted Daniel on one of the bench in the middle of Central Park.

“There are still a whole bunch of information but I just noted the one that gave me a less amount of cringe,” Seongwoo added as Daniel raised his eyebrow in amusement.

“I’m glad that you know more about me now,” Daniel replied.

“No, be glad that I haven’t ditched this newly founded friendship yet after you made me wake up this early to visit Central Park,” Seongwoo deadpanned as he shot the object in front of him with his camera, which Daniel didn’t notice was there before.

“That looks exciting, you’re a photography master student after all, of course you have to bring an expensive-looking camera,” Daniel stated in amusement.

 “Yeah, it’s my job, I take pictures to save the memories that will be forgotten sooner or later,” Seongwoo exclaimed. “Do I have to pay if I want to take your pictures, rock star?” Seongwoo raised his eyebrow at Daniel – he couldn’t tell whether the latter is actually curious or just mocking him. The second option sounded more fitting though.

“Because you still look stunning whether it’s ten in the evening or seven in the morning like now, it’s for free,” Daniel replied with a playful smirk.

“Well, that’s some next level flirting skill,” Seongwoo snorted nonchalantly as he directed his camera to Daniel afterward. “How much do you think I will get if I sell this picture on eBay?” Seongwoo raised his eyebrow when he examined Daniel’s picture he just took.

“A hundred bucks and still negotiable for higher price, I’m expensive like that, Seongwoo hyung.” Daniel grinned as he moved closer to the latter.

 “I will pretend I just didn’t hear any of that,” Seongwoo taunted.

“So where are you taking me today?” Daniel shifted the topic just like that as he smiled at Seongwoo. “I want Ben and Jerry’s since I’ve never eat that even once,” Daniel added nonchalantly.

“You want to eat ice cream at seven in the morning?” Seongwoo raised his eyebrow questioningly. “By the way, you had been on a world tour for three times already and I actually checked it and you have like a legit North America tour, how come you haven’t eaten Ben and Jerry’s even once?” Seongwoo blabbered afterward.

“We go to a place, then rehearsals, finish a concert and then we go straight to the next location,” Daniel replied flatly. “Trust me, it may sound amazing to become a celebrity, but it’s actually not,” Daniel added. 

“Oh, that’s why you take a hiatus?” Seongwoo asked casually – which made Daniel fell into a silence. “Oh _shit,_ I shouldn’t bring that up, huh? But you know, when I searched your name they actually, yeah, you know, bad things, I mean, you know, it’s cool if you cried and stuff but that’s not it, right?” Seongwoo blurt out. “I mean, it’s pretty weird since your latest concert sold out,” Seongwoo concluded at the end, afraid to say more.

“It’s not really about how many ticket you sold, really, or how many stadium you have filled,” Daniel replied almost too immediately. “More like, the four of us needed a break. The tip of our career as a band also marked the tip of our exhaustion, a hiatus was needed, a period away from the industry is essential, I guess,” He continued.

“I see.” Seongwoo nodded his head in understanding. “I think it’s cool you know, to cry sometimes,” Seongwoo suddenly stated.

“Yeah, I know. It’s not cool for the people though, for the fans too, I guess?” Daniel replied.

“Well, I saw the video though, you were kind of weeping and it was kind of gross, maybe that’s why people are bad mouthing you,” Seongwoo continued instead.

“That’s more like it.” Daniel nodded in agreement.

“But I meant it. It’s nice to cry sometimes, to just let out the bottled feelings inside because it gets too hard to handle and shit happens. We’re still normal people, and people are just bound to cry, no matter how ridiculous you look like while doing it,” Seongwoo replied afterward. “I mean, I barely know you, but I know enough that your job is a whole lot harder than mine, you are dealing with a massive amount of people who will always expect you to give your best even at your worst. Am I nearing your situation?” Seongwoo raised his eyebrow.

“ _Exactly_ at my situation,” Daniel grinned cheekily.

 “Well, since I assume that you must be dealing with a lot of problem, let’s go for ice cream, shall we?” Seongwoo smiled afterward. “Ben and Jerry’s for the rock star?” Seongwoo chuckled in amusement when Daniel groaned.

“I must be very high last night to let that word slip away from my mouth.” Daniel shook his head in disbelief but stood up along with Seongwoo. “It’s still seven in the morning though, maybe we should eat it later on, how about breakfast?” Daniel grinned nonchalantly.

“I didn’t know a global icon would be this indecisive,” Seongwoo deadpanned.

“Stop calling me that, _hyung_ , I mean it, it’s so weird, I got shivers all over my body.”

“Hey, I am not the one who’s suggesting it.” Seongwoo shrugged it off.

“I made a lot of stupid mistakes in my life but I guess none can top this,” Daniel snorted.

“No, you coming to New York and trusting me to guide your so called vacation, will top that.” Seongwoo smirked nonchalantly.

“We have to see about that.” Daniel nudged the older’ arm lightly with a playful smile as they started to walk – Daniel just had to take out one of his cigarettes and light it up. “So, you are like a legit photographer?” Daniel said when he saw Seongwoo taking a picture of their surrounding. 

“Part-time now, and trying to finish my master degree on photography.” The older shrugged.

“You sound so cool,” Daniel beamed unconsciously.

“Obviously cooler than being a part of a global band, thanks.” Seongwoo smirked in return.

“It’s not as cool as it seems. Don’t get me wrong, I’m in love with my job but sometimes it feels like I’m missing a point in life,” Daniel replied in agony.

“Like what?” Seongwoo stopped his track just to turn his attention to the younger male.

“Like the fact that I have never been to the statue of Liberty even once when I’ve visited New York for like four times already,” Daniel retorted with a chuckle. 

“That’s really sad.” Seongwoo frowned.

“I know, come think of it, I can’t really go to the supermarket without being captured on camera and blow up the Internet the next day.” Daniel laughed again, and the bitterness was so strong that no one could miss it.

“Is that why you came to New York, Daniel? You’re tired of blowing up some online forums?” Seongwoo replied in amusement.

“In fact I am,” Daniel stated. “Can’t you just tell that I’m tired of everything that I decided to trust some stranger who only listened to my song once, with the sole reason that I know a lot of things about him because we accidentally took each other’s journal?” Daniel raised his eyebrow in amusement.

“Well, yeah, I mean you are kind of weird for someone who claimed to be a top celebrity. Aren’t you scared that I’m going to leak your pictures online, Daniel?” Seongwoo said as he snapped a picture of Daniel inhaling the cancerous stick.

“I trust you that much,” Daniel replied almost immediately.

“I didn’t know that you would trust other people so easily like that. And for the record, we just met yesterday,” Seongwoo said.

“I really do _not_ , but you seems to be a perfect fit for me to make some exception,”.

 

\---

 

Daniel didn’t move from his seat for a while until there was a knock from his door. “Wait, like who is actually visiting us at two in the afternoon?” Jaehwan suddenly snapped from the other side of the couch. “Fans?” Jaehwan’s face screamed in horror as Daniel quickly brushed it off by getting the door – he did have a little heart attack when he found Seongwoo instead, leaning on his door frame with his black leather jacket hugging his body nicely. “Hi, rock star,”.

“I thought I made it clear that we’re not using that nickname anymore,” Daniel deadpanned.

“Nah, I kind of like it calling you that,” Seongwoo replied nonchalantly. “Are you busy?” Seongwoo added hastily.

“Nope, not at all. May I help you?” Daniel grinned.

“First rule of life Daniel, if you want a stranger to take you home, don’t let them into your actual address, I mean, I’m pretty sure you could just let me go at the lobby and not insist me to accompany you until you get into your apartment yesterday,” Seongwoo sneered.

“I want you to know my address.” Daniel shrugged nonchalantly.

“I could be a serial killer,” Seongwoo replied skeptically.

“And I could have a serial killer as a friend who would actually visit me, like this,” Daniel said, again with a flat face.

“And you thought that is good?” Seongwoo raised his eyebrow in utter skepticism.

“Yeah, and besides, I told you that I trust you, so why are you here?” Daniel grinned again.

“Right, I remembered how you said I can’t use or upload your pictures without blowing up the Internet because you’re some global star like that, but the photos from yesterday’s short trip to Ben and Jerry’s turned out really great so I thought why not print it out and give them to you?” Seongwoo said as she handed out a brown envelope to him, which Daniel took rather excitedly.

“That’s very nice of you,” Daniel replied as he took out the photos and examined them – they were indeed great, most of them are candid shots of Daniel, some of them are Daniel purposely posing for Seongwoo, but one picture caught his attention the most and that was the picture of him laughing his heart out – he remembered it was because one of Seongwoo’s sarcastic remark about Times Square and it’s crowd.

“You know, your music is not that bad,” Seongwoo said all of the sudden while Daniel was looking at the pictures. “And you are not that bad as a guitarist.” Daniel looked up to the older the moment he said the second sentence. “I just thought, _hey_ , I just gave a short New York ice cream tour to a self-proclaimed band member who has a legit Wikipedia page and he kept bringing up the fact that I only listened to one of his song, so why not give his other songs a try? And I did, and it was pretty cool, uh, you are pretty cool too, Daniel.” Seongwoo’s lips curled up at the end of his sentence and Daniel couldn’t help but being stunned.

“You look so surprised, honestly, I’m pretty sure I am not the first one to say that.” Seongwoo laughed.

“No, I’m just, happy to hear that our other songs managed to please you ears, so, thank you for giving them a chance.” Daniel smirked in return. “And for the compliment, I really appreciate it,” Daniel continued.

“Yeah, it’s worth saying, and thanks for being my photo object.” Seongwoo grinned.

“Well, well, look who we have here.” Jaehwan came out all of the sudden from Daniel’s back as he grinned widely to Seongwoo. “Is this the infamous Ong Seongwoo, whose journal our Daniel has been snooping around as he giggled like a teenage girl whilst reading it?” Jaehwan blurted out nonchalantly and Daniel might have already screamed at the latter if Seongwoo wasn’t standing there, amused.

“I am Ong Seongwoo, whose journal has been snooped by some random celebrity. Luck must be on my side.” Seongwoo smirked as he shook Jaehwan’s hand the latter offered earlier. 

“I like you already, now come in, I guess Daniel doesn’t have enough heart to invite you in, but he doesn’t have any heart in the first place anyway,” Jaehwan stated sardonically as Daniel threw him a death glare.

“I was about to.” Daniel gritted his teeth in annoyance. “And I didn’t giggle like a teenage girl,” Daniel snorted as he closed the door behind them.

“Now, now, Daniel, it’s not good to lie in front of our new friend’s face,” Jaehwan blabbered. “Oh and by the way, my name is Kim Jaehwan,” Jaehwan added with a grin.

“You are the front man of the band,” Seongwoo replied immediately with a smile. “You have a great voice,” Seongwoo added.

“If only his personality is as great as his voice then the world might be a better place to live in,” Daniel snapped.

“I’m just going to ignore everything except the fact that he’s calling my voice great. Would you like something to drink, Seongwoo-ssi? I’m pretty sure Daniel doesn’t have enough conscience to offer something to you,” Jaehwan snickered as Daniel threw a pillow couch to his direction.

“Oh no thank you, I’m not staying long actually, I have somewhere to go,” Seongwoo replied instead.

“Where to?” Daniel asked nonchalantly.

“Bryant Park. You know, the winter village? I want to take some pictures,” Seongwoo answered.

“Ah, I went there yesterday, it’s really crowded,” Jaehwan snapped all of the sudden.

“Can I come with you?” Daniel cut in and made both Jaehwan and Seongwoo raise their eyebrow.

“Oh, how productive of Kang Daniel,” Jaehwan said as he grinned in amusement.

“Sure, Daniel, you can come,” Seongwoo replied as he added a slight smile.

“Great! Take me away from Jaehwan,” Daniel said as he snatched his coat from the hanger and bounced to the front door.

“It’s great meeting you, Jaehwan-ssi,” Seongwoo said as he smiled at Jaehwan – who was actually grinning creepily back at him – before he followed Daniel out from the unit. “Your friend is nice,” Seongwoo commented when they got into the elevator.

“I have a lot more adjectives other than _nice_ to describe Jaehwan,” Daniel snorted as he leaned on the metal wall.

“He’s really nice, I like his voice,” Seongwoo replied instead.

“I thought you like the guitarist more?” Daniel raised his eyebrow as he smirked at the latter. 

“Why do you want to come with me anyway? Jaehwan-ssi literally said that it’s crowded as fuck there, and there might be some fans of yours.” Seongwoo shifted the topic just like that.

“Oh, I thought it’s an invitation for me to join you, since you know, you are my tour guide slash friend. Aren’t you supposed to show me things in New York?” Daniel shrugged.

“For your information, I’m charging you per hour,” Seongwoo huffed when they were getting out from the elevator.

“Deal, hyung, I’m selling an album every minute so I can kind of afford your service.” Daniel deadpanned and got a glare from the latter.

“I’m charging you twice the original price,” Seongwoo snapped when they walked side by side as they got out from the building.

“Hey, we had a deal at the first price,” Daniel half-yelled when he caught up with the older male. They arrived at the park thirty minutes later after Daniel argued that they should take his rented car, but Seongwoo thought it would be much better to just take a cab – and at the end Daniel gave up, since Seongwoo was playing his _I have lived in New York longer_ card.

 

“It’s pretty,” Daniel commented first thing first when he saw the skating rink in the middle of the winter village. “Hey, take some pictures of me.” Daniel suddenly tapped the older’s shoulder before he ran to stand in front of the rink.

“I thought you were some sort of very expensive person I couldn’t afford.” Seongwoo chuckled but snapped a picture of Daniel nonetheless – and goodness, Seongwoo had actually been thinking this since last night when he printed out Daniel’s picture – he just has to admit that Daniel is probably one of the most beautiful human objects he will ever encountered, whether he was a celebrity or not, Daniel is  unearthly gorgeous.

And not that Seongwoo didn’t want to say it out loud but one of the reasons why he agreed to accompany Daniel was that because he is that stunning that Seongwoo actually want to take pictures of him. The irony is that Seongwoo actually hates taking pictures of models in purpose – candidly was more tolerable – but Daniel is different, he radiates something despite his arrogant appearance, Seongwoo almost running out of words to describe how absorbing Daniel looks like even under the dim light of the street two nights ago – it was impressive.

“I have decided that if it’s only for you to keep then it’s fine, I’m not that petty like someone else,” Daniel sneered at the end of the sentence as he scooted closer to Seongwoo to see the result. “Damn, my mom should be proud that she gave birth to such a handsome man like me,” Daniel exclaimed out loud which the latter only replied with a disbelief gaze.

“Oh, you are so full of yourself, what a surprise.” Seongwoo faked a gasp, which Daniel ignored and instead found another spot to pose at.

The whole evening was filled with Seongwoo capturing Daniel in every corner of the park and neither of them complained, even though it was not Seongwoo’s original plan – and Daniel suggested that they should hit the ice rink but Seongwoo only gave him a look of disdain. Nonetheless the crowd was fun and full of liveliness – Daniel almost thought it would be better for him to just move to New York permanently, a city that manages to offer so much carefreeness in the middle of chaos.

“Can we go to the statue of Liberty sometime?” Daniel asked out of the blue when they were sitting at the restaurant nearby.

“We can go there now if you want to,” Seongwoo replied nonchalantly.

“Not now, I mean some other days. Maybe spend a night at Time Square too, I mean, it’s great if I could also flaunt to my member about being to more known places.” Daniel grinned cheekily while flashing his phone screen, which was supposedly some kind of group chat.

“Oh, so this is not just a two, three time thing? I mean you are really going to pay me to guide you around New York?” Seongwoo snorted when Daniel frowned in reply.

“Honestly, if we are talking about payment, I can do that, but are you really asking me if it was just a three time thing? I mean, I clearly say that I want you to be my guide for my whole stay,” Daniel ranted.

“Okay, calm down, global icon.” Seongwoo chuckled in return.

“You know, you’re not exactly like this when I saw your videos on Youtube, almost feels like I’m hanging with a whole different person. I mean, I watched some of your other reality show things, right? And you seems like a certified asshole with your face all the time,” Seongwoo said in amusement.

“It was a concept at first, and I’m flattered that you took your time to watch other things like that,” Daniel replied rather bitterly.

“Why the past tense?” Seongwoo asked.

“I think it has become one with me, you know.” Daniel shrugged as he turned his attention away from the older male. “Walls, that’s the reason, I built walls,” Daniel spoke up again all of the sudden – he told himself to stop talking but he just wanted to tell someone about all of those unspoken feelings inside him – he needed to. “I know I have developed all kinds of bad habits and a bad image because I need to build walls.”

“The more you get into the industry, there are less people you should put your trust into, the more people trying to bring you down, a lot of people curse on you and your works like everything just isn’t enough,” Daniel continued. “Bad or good, better or worse, terrible or magnificent, no matter which one you are, they are always there to bring you down.” Daniel sighed at the end.

“It was the consequences, I told myself that a lot, but somewhere along the way, your heart just grows cold and numb, you know? That’s when the honest words become honeyed, the sincere emotions become artificial, and every shit has just piled up inside and will eventually burst one day,” Daniel concluded.

“That’s why you cried,” Seongwoo muttered afterward.

“Exactly.” Daniel gave the latter a sad smile.

“That’s why I came here, Seongwoo hyung, because I need a new kind of start. I do really love New York City, but more than that, I came here to find the lost soul that I once had, and also because it is so loud, I can barely hear the shit inside my head,” Daniel added, which the latter only replied with a small grin as they fell into a comfortable silence – it was actually scary for Daniel- how fast he took to open up to the latter.

“You’re in the right place though,” Seongwoo suddenly said as he nodded his head along. “New York City, more than anything, is the perfect place to find yourself again,” Seongwoo continued when their food came – it was the cakes they ordered fifteen minutes ago.

“Are you talking based on your own experience?” Daniel raised his eyebrow in amusement.

“You could say that,” Seongwoo replied. “But that’s the story for some other time,” The older male added, which made Daniel smiled. “You know, I thought it was rather ridiculous for people to look down on you after you cried, I mean, more like, it is needed for you to cry, like I said before, it will remind them somehow that you are still human,” Seongwoo continued and at that moment, Daniel actually thought there was no kinder compliment than that.

“You said it yourself, you built walls, and it was maybe too high so that’s what made you separated from the rest of the people and your fans, you have become more and more artificial that people sometimes forget that you’re still human, that’s why the more you showed it to them, the more they treated you _inhumanely_ ,” Seongwoo stated as he took a bit of his cake. “Maybe from the fans’ point of view, _they_ feel that you’re changing fast, it was probably so rapid they thought they lost the original you,”.

“So, I guess, it’s more appropriate if they thank you for crying?” Seongwoo shrugged casually, but for Daniel, there is nothing casual about what the latter just said. “Say something?” Seongwoo suddenly shoved his spoon to Daniel’s mouth. He was rather flustered when Daniel fell into silence after his long rant, not knowing what to do when Daniel wasn’t actually talking and couldn’t help but think that he had said something bad – but Daniel gladly took the bite nonetheless.

“Your cake tastes nice,”.

“Not that, you idiot,” Seongwoo snorted.

“I don’t have anything to say about the other thing, yet,” Daniel confessed. “It was too much, no one has ever said things like that to me before, like I don’t know how to react to the fact that you actually thought that way, and I’m genuinely thankful for that,” Daniel continued. His heart did something when Seongwoo smiled back at him. Daniel thought he was going to lose his mind real soon if the latter didn’t stop. _What the fuck was that?_

“You know, after all that’s why you chose New York, right? Don’t worry, Daniel, this city will guide you back to your own self if you let it.” Seongwoo commented with a wide grin as if he was proud of his own saying.

“I have decided that I like hanging out with you,” Daniel blurted out of blue – which was completely not in his plan and out of his usual character, but fuck, he doesn’t even know what character he has anymore and he already said it.

“Because I take free pictures of you?” Seongwoo replied in amusement instead.

“That too, but maybe I began to understand why New York is able to bring yourself back to your roots.”

 

\---

 

“Jaehwan, do you think that Seongwoo hates me already?” Daniel raised his eyebrow rather seriously to Jaehwan when they were having their fancy breakfast – and by fancy that means they actually ordered from some restaurant instead of doing their cereal ritual – Jaehwan choked nonetheless at the question.

“I would hate you if I were him. First of all, he’s a master student, but you keep bugging him for the whole week to take you somewhere and without me, which is rude,” Jaehwan nagged.

“But he said it’s not a problem though,” Daniel defended himself. 

“Because not all people are rude like you, Daniel, they actually have manners – _ouch_ , see? Not everyone is a dickhead,” Jaehwan said as he rubbed his arm that Daniel abused earlier.

“Why do you keep wanting to see him anyway? Daniel, I’m pretty sure you can tour around New York by yourself. Not that I dislike Seongwoo, you know that I like him, but just, _why_?” Jaehwan raised his eyebrow.

“Just because two is better than one, and I don’t want you as my other half,” Daniel said nonchalantly.

“Okay, did you just refer Seongwoo as your other half? Like as in soul mate? Like what the fuck, Kang Daniel? Oh my goodness, you like him,” Jaehwan said as he gave Daniel the shit-eating grin.

 “No, _no_ , what? That’s nonsense, he is just cool, that’s all, and I actually enjoy having a person’s company after a while,” Daniel snapped almost too immediately.

“Yeah, you are definitely whipped.” Jaehwan nodded nonchalantly despite Daniel’s glare and grumble of protests. “Why do you think Seongwoo hates you though?” Jaehwan raised his eyebrow in curiosity.

“I’m not telling you because it’s stupid,” Daniel snorted in annoyance.

“Everything you do is stupid so what’s the difference?” Jaehwan snapped instead.

“He said that he couldn’t accompany me today,” Daniel muttered in a very low voice but not low enough for Jaehwan to burst into his infamous psychotic laughter.

“Wow, I can’t hear anything over the sound of your bullshit of not being a whipped man.” Jaehwan managed to say.

“Shut up, he said that he’s glad that he finally has a friend who speaks Korean, and I mean, doesn’t that indicate that he hates being with his other friends?” Daniel raised his eyebrow nonchalantly – Jaehwan couldn’t believe that the certified asshole Kang Daniel didn’t feel stupid when he said that statement.

“He is a drummer, in a band, who does gigs frequently, Daniel, I’m pretty sure he likes his friends,” Jaehwan deadpanned at the end.

“Yeah, but still.” Daniel stopped midway when he realized that he would be only spouting nonsense and the fact that Jaehwan would probably laugh at his face again with his dumb excuse, when he was just lonely and _slightly_ sad that he won’t be seeing Seongwoo that day – after seeing the latter nonstop for the past week, he has to admit that he grew some kind of comfort with the older male – he didn’t like the way it made him willingly depending on someone else.

“How about, rather than being a whipped mess, you take me to lunch instead?”

\---

Seongwoo was staring at the man in front of him with a stink eye as the other gave him a skeptical look for the past two minutes. “Kang Daniel from Hundred and One?” Hwang Minhyun repeated again, as he sipped his tea afterward as the first action he did after hearing Seongwoo’s crazy story when he landed in New York. “He’s making a fuss, in Seoul, at least,” Minhyun concluded. “My colleagues were all like, Kang Daniel this and Kang Daniel that, and you’re here spending time with the runaway idol,” Minhyun added.

“Now that is an oversimplification of the whole situation. He’s not just a runaway idol, he’s actually a great person, or friend if I may say. And I’m not just spending time with him, he gives back to me by letting me take his pictures,” Seongwoo reckoned.

“So, let me get this super straight, you guys are on that level of friendship already? Whoa, I’m actually hurt that you’re replacing me with someone you know for like, what, a week tops?” Minhyun snorted.

“He’s a good person, a little bit broken here and there, it’s understandable since you know, his kind of life is the one that’s going to pressure you even if you die.” Seongwoo shrugged.

“And your conclusion is?” Minhyun raised his eyebrow skeptically.

“I think I can fix him a little bit, here and there, you know, he’s kind of happy around me, and I don’t hate being around him, I guess I want to help him,” Seongwoo blabbered afterward.

“Seongwoo, listen.” Minhyun sighed.

“Okay, Hwang Minhyun, you are not here to lecture me, or to judge me,” Seongwoo snapped in annoyance.

“I just wanted to say, you have to be willing to be broken too if you want to fix someone as wrecked as Kang Daniel,” Minhyun reckoned.

“What do you mean as wrecked as Kang Daniel?” Seongwoo knitted his eyebrows together.

“He’s on the news everywhere and I’ve read some of them, he’s a problematic ass, Seongwoo.”

“But he’s pretty nice around me and I like him, plus, he has this leaking sunlight kind of smile,” Seongwoo argued.

“Are you trying to say that all of that bad boy concept is just some kind of his other persona?” Minhyun tilted his head a bit as he crossed his arms in front of his chest. 

“Yes, and he is trying to start again,” Seongwoo replied, nodding his head along.

“You don’t have to care about it so we can start talking about more important matters instead.” Minhyun snorted.

“I’m not done talking about Daniel,” Seongwoo snapped instead.

“Okay, so what else do you want to tell me? Are we really going to sit here just for you to tell me about how in love you are with Kang Daniel, the troublemaker idol of our country, on my first day in New York?” Minhyun raised his eyebrow in amusement.

“First of all, I am not in love, hell, when did I even say that? Second of all, what else do you want to see here? New York is still New York, it’s literally the same,” Seongwoo retorted.

“The last time you talked about someone this much was like _never_ , Seongwoo. I’m pretty sure you can marry Kang Daniel tomorrow and have no problem with it,” Minhyun deadpanned – Seongwoo wanted to protest but in all honesty, it was true that he has been talking about a certain male too much, it was almost infuriating.

“I’m sorry,” Seongwoo muttered at the end, even though he wasn’t sure what he was apologizing for.

“For what? For finally finding someone who worth your time? I am not worried about that, in fact, I’m delighted.” Minhyun sighed.

“It’s just that, I feel like you both don’t belong on the same page,”.

 

\---

 

“Isn’t that your _soul mate_?” Jaehwan nudged Daniel’s arm, making the latter drop a piece of meat from his fork.

“I swear Jaehwan, if this is stupid, I’m going to sue,” Daniel scoffed as his eyes followed Jaehwan’s pointed finger to the street just across the restaurant they were eating right then.

“Dude, Seongwoo is totally ditching you for a non-jerk, fine male.” Jaehwan chuckled in sarcasm when Daniel spotted Seongwoo walking side to side with someone he never saw before.

To be fair, Daniel doesn’t really know anyone in Seongwoo’s life up until that point, and the man is gorgeous, with his fair skin and the height and body built that seems to complement Seongwoo very well – Daniel concluded all of that even if they were like five hundred meters apart, he didn’t want to imagine the man up close. They were entering the clothes shop right after, that’s when Daniel decided to stand up as he tossed the napkin away.

“Let’s go.” Daniel announced as he put some money on the table before patting Jaehwan’s shoulder.

“Hell no, I haven’t finished yet,” Jaehwan protested right away.

“Goddammit, Jaehwan, this is a matter of life and death of my non-existent but potential love life, are you seriously going to do this?” Daniel grunted hastily under his breath while Jaehwan was busy gasping.

“Did you just declare that you’re in love with the man you just met last week? Are you insane? Hello, earth to Kang Daniel,” Jaehwan snapped in instant.

“When did I say that?” Daniel raised his eyebrow nonchalantly – he realized that some words had slipped off unconsciously, even Daniel knew it was crazy to refer whatever it is between them as a love life, really, what the fuck is wrong with him?

“You said love life, you ass-head,” Jaehwan groaned.

“No, I did not, you must’ve heard wrong,” Daniel snorted in defense.

“Did you just insult my hearing?” Jaehwan complained but left the restaurant with the guitarist nonetheless.

“Just _stop_ , I just need to know who he is,” Daniel said as he turned his body around to face Jaehwan. “Well, okay, but I also just wanted to tell you that it’s not supposed to be your problem,” Jaehwan replied rather seriously. “Whoever Seongwoo is hanging out with, or whether it’s the reason why he refused to hang out with you for a day, shouldn’t bother you, Niel,” Jaehwan continued. “This is not our life, we are just visitors,”.

“We have to go back eventually, you have to understand that.” Jaehwan ended his argument. Daniel rubbed his forehead restlessly, as Jaehwan grabbed his arms rather tightly. “Daniel, this is not your plan, you are not here to get lost again, you are supposed to find _you_ again.” The latter sighed.  

“I know, okay, I’m trying. It’s just that it almost feels like Seongwoo is one of the ways for fresh start.” Daniel exhaled. “And can we please not have this talk in the middle of New York’s street?”.

Jaehwan let go of Daniel’s arm afterward, nodding slightly as he pointed his chin to a certain clothes shop. “Thank you,” Daniel said afterward as they both crossed the street to reach their destination – Daniel pulled out a cigarette and slipped it between his lips before he lit it up midway to the shop for whatever reason he didn’t really know – actually if you asked him whether he was nervous or not, then the answer would be hell yes, and hence, inhaling cancer is the way to solve it.

“You know for goodness’ sake that the shop won’t allow you inside with that cancerous disease you are carrying,” Jaehwan commented when they were right in front of the fancy looking display.

“I need to calm my nerves.” Daniel blew out a smoke. 

“You’re just meeting Seongwoo and his friend, Daniel, stop overreacting,” Jaehwan sneered – right when Daniel was about to counter, he saw Seongwoo walk out from the shop instead.

“Oh shit, it’s them,” Jaehwan whispered as he nudged Daniel’s arm almost harshly. Daniel quickly grabbed the latter’s coat and dragged him to follow the two males in front of them.

“There’s like a new coffee shop just down the street or something –.” Daniel could hear Seongwoo saying things to the other male as he and Jaehwan were walking right behind them before they suddenly stopped for the intersection.

But Jaehwan didn’t stop fast enough so he bumped right into Daniel, which made the latter stumbled forward and cause a little fuss.

“Daniel?” Only right then, Daniel decided maybe it was a stupid idea all along and he is most probably fucked.

“Hyung,” He exclaimed quite cheerfully instead for concealing his irregular heartbeat. “Fancy meeting you here,” Daniel continued as the man beside Seongwoo turned around as well – oh, he is even more breathtaking up close.

“Fancy, of course, hi, Seongwoo hyung and friend,” Jaehwan scoffed at first before saying his greetings.

“Hi, uh, this is Minhyun, he’s visiting from Seoul.” Seongwoo smiled as he pointed his hand to Minhyun, who was waving his hand slightly – Minhyun is just the best friend. Daniel remembers that and somehow it made his whole mind a little bit tidier than it was a minute before. “Are you guys going somewhere?” Seongwoo asked before Jaehwan and Daniel shook their heads in unison.

Fifteen minutes later, Daniel still wasn’t sure why the four of them were sitting together at the nice coffee shop just at the end of the street, with Seongwoo trying to make the scene less awkward by telling them a story about his vinyl collection Daniel heard before – or read before, same thing. “This is so amusing, to see you idols up close. I must say, you look better in person.” Minhyun grinned.

“Especially you, Kang Daniel-ssi.” Minhyun said – came out more like a sneer nonetheless but Daniel is used to that, however, Seongwoo nudged Minhyun’s legs afterward. “Everyone is talking about you,” Minhyun added.

“Yeah, I’m kind of popular like that. I shook Korea by shedding some tears and announcing hiatus, imagine being that relatable.” Daniel smirked nonchalantly.

“I wouldn’t be so proud of myself if I had created so much troubles in the past, just saying.” Minhyun shrugged as he sipped his coffee.

“Oh, you know what they say, uptight people really doesn’t know how to have fun –,”

“Oh my goodness isn’t this coffee just perfect, Seongwoo-ssi?” Jaehwan exclaimed all of the sudden before Daniel finished his sentence – Jaehwan had seen enough about how many people Daniel has wounded with his annoying self, Minhyun doesn’t have to be one of them.

“I know right, perfect for the weather too,” Seongwoo replied after picking up the signal from Jaehwan and the tense was so visible that you could almost see it.

“You know what? I think me and Daniel should go home –,”

“Oh, please stay, I didn’t mean to make you guys uncomfortable,” Minhyun added. 

“Oh well, you aren’t trying hard enough,” Daniel snapped right after.

“Okay, that’s it, Daniel, we’re done right here,”.

 

\---

 

Daniel really thought that Seongwoo would ditch him for good after potentially offending his best friend that came far from Seoul, but the older male took him to a busy market in the middle of Union Square instead that evening. After another series of event, Minhyun decided that he should go with Jaehwan, who needs a guide back home, and since Minhyun knows New York better, they were going home together, despite their awkwardness.

“This is the holiday market, where you find indie artists works and incredible handmade goodies, place of hidden gems basically,” Seongwoo explained.

“Why did you bring me here?” Daniel raised his eyebrow nonchalantly.

“You can stop that now, Daniel, it’s just me and you.” Seongwoo somehow grinned.

“What? I’m genuinely curious because I haven’t been good to your best friend.” Daniel shrugged.

“You really remember everything from the journal, you even know Minhyun is my best friend,” Seongwoo replied.

“It’s hard to ignore when you mentioned his name at least once in every two pages,” Daniel huffed.

“I’m sorry for Minhyun though, he’s not like that, I swear, he’s usually very nice and polite, he just doesn’t like that I’m hanging out with you because you’re an ass, like how the media portrayed you,” Seongwoo remarked bluntly.

“Maybe you should listen to him, I’m not a very good person,” Daniel said. “And I’m sorry that I proved the media right in front of him, it’s hard to be nice to strangers,” Daniel commented. 

“But you’re nice to me,” Seongwoo said.

“You are not a stranger, I’ve read your entire journal, hyung.” Daniel chuckled.

“I’m really at a disadvantage here, but anyway, I finally saw the celebrity version of you,” Seongwoo replied instead – his lips curled up to a tiny smile.

“Not the best kind of celebrity, am I?” Daniel raised his eyebrow as Seongwoo mouthed a _nope_ as he shook his head along. “But for the record, I’m trying, that’s why I came here,” Daniel said in defense. 

“You should show this more,” Seongwoo said as he did a circling motion in front of Daniel’s face. 

“It’s pretty hard when it’s not just with you.” Daniel grinned cheekily.

“It’s not that hard,” Seongwoo replied instead, ignoring the sudden tingling feelings. “We need to work a lot on you.” Seongwoo sighed at the end when he turned on his camera.

“Have you ever left your camera at home?” Daniel said as they entered the market side by side. 

“No, it’s important to capture this whole season, because I like winter,” Seongwoo said.

“I know.” Daniel laughed.

“Yeah, I kind of wrote a huge _winter is finally here_ with red marker on that stupid journal,” Seongwoo snorted as he directed the camera to the latter.

“I figured out something new today,” Seongwoo said as he smiled at the photo he just captured. “There is something more expensive to afford than your picture, Daniel,” Seongwoo added as he showed the younger male the camera screen. “That smile is pretty.” Daniel swore his heart skipped a few beats when Seongwoo was standing so close to him right then while complimenting his smile – oh, he just know that he is completely fucked.

“You’re gorgeous, Daniel.” Seongwoo smiled nonchalantly as if it was the most normal thing he has ever said.

“Is that why you’re still here after me and Minhyun-ssi almost fought in public?” Daniel tried to ask with sneaky remarks, but it failed to cover the urge to just wrap the older male in his arms right then.

“Because I’m still expecting a payment from you, duh,” Seongwoo scoffed. “But, that’s why I keep taking pictures of you. You know, Minhyun is also kind of handsome too. He’s a nice object, but you are different, Daniel, I guess, you are just another kind of beautiful, it’s like you are a destructed art.” Seongwoo shrugged before they both went into silence.

“You’re beautiful too,” Daniel added afterward. “More organized one, but still art, I think that’s why I trust you so much, maybe because we are both an art.” Daniel chuckled.

“Maybe that’s why.” Seongwoo nodded as he stretch out his arm out of the blue.

“Destructed art, huh? So fancy, I’m flattered,” Daniel raised his eyebrow in amusement.

“I’ve been thinking while editing your pictures.” Seongwoo shrugged. “I have to name the album somehow. You want to fix yourself so bad, but nonetheless, you are still divine even when you are broken at every verge,” Seongwoo muttered.

“You’re so good with words, no wonder you wrote a journal,” Daniel replied as he smiled, genuinely.

“It’s crowded tonight. I don’t want you to get lost,” Seongwoo remarked with a small smile. “It’s okay to hold hands with me tonight, right, rock star?” Seongwoo grinned when he wriggled his fingers, signaling Daniel to intertwine with his, and Daniel swore at that moment everything suddenly made sense – Seongwoo’s hand was just as cold as he thought, just like his, but Daniel wouldn’t want it any other way,

And he never wanted to kiss someone so bad other than that evening.

 

\---

 

Kang Daniel adored New York City, just like Woody Allen said – the city was a metaphor for the decay of contemporary culture. How hard it was to exist in a society desensitized by drugs, loud music, television, crime, garbage, or Kang Daniel himself. It’s not hard for the people, but Daniel has lost the essence of living because of the overexposure from a long time ago. It was an angry statement before and he wanted to completely blame all the people for making him into a cruel scene.

But in the middle of the crowd and a man who sees something else in him, he realized one thing, he had made sure that he numbed himself so he wouldn’t get affected, but the crowd then starting to lose patience with him and naturally felt less and less genuine to him as he is to them. Daniel was the one that made it hard, the crowd was never completely wrong. It didn’t take New York City long to make him aware that he was the one who started to rot in the first place.

And the only reason why Daniel decided to go on hiatus was for him to come at that point. Seongwoo doesn’t have to say it like how Daniel understands it, but he was helping him to somehow gain consciousness, he made him feel something – fuck, Daniel thought it couldn’t get more typical than that, but Seongwoo is also something else – hell, who the fuck thanks him for crying or tells him things like he is art despite being broken in this economy, but in a way, Daniel might just pick up a new core of existing again.

“You’re picking up your guitar again,” Jaehwan stated when Daniel tried to find a certain melody to his new song. “I’m writing again, a song, I guess,” Daniel muttered as he inhaled the cigarette. “Take a seat anyway, I need serious Jaehwan,” Daniel said afterward after fixing his round glasses.

“Sounds exciting, are you finally realizing that how shit you can be after what you did to a fine man like Minhyun hyung?” Jaehwan raised his eyebrow.

“Oh, so you both are friends already,” Daniel replied nonchalantly.

“Because he’s a nice human being, Daniel, not like _you_.” Jaehwan sighed.

“That’s right, so knock some sense to me, because the more I write this song, the more I feel like I am going to fuck up, tell me this is all just temporary,” Daniel demanded rather seriously. “This _New York_ thing, you are right, Jaehwan, we have to come back whether we like it or not, to the bloody staged life,” Daniel added at the end.

“Daniel, if Seongwoo is the way of your new fresh start, if he helps you in some kind of way I won’t understand, then it’s okay, I was just saying that you need to realize that you are bringing him to our world later when we come back, and it’s pretty fucking hard,” Jaehwan explained.

“Jaehwan, I wanted to kiss him earlier,” Daniel deadpanned. “When we held hands, I wanted it to stay like that, hell, I thought, this is it, I found the new reason why I should fix myself faster, but you’re right, when we come back, I’ll drag him down, that’s why please say something hurtful,” Daniel said – he kind of let out a whimper at the end. 

“Then, don’t hesitate, Daniel,” Jaehwan replied instead, which made Daniel a little taken aback. So maybe his friendship with Jaehwan is full of sarcastic remarks and insults and everything else in between, and when Jaehwan said something like this, it didn’t make any sense for neither of them, but they both know it has to be done. “I didn’t realize that you’re this cowardly. Since when are you so afraid with your idol life? If Seongwoo makes you happy then try to make him happy too,” Jaehwan argued.

“You care so much about him that you don’t want to bring him inside our harsh world, wow, that’s some hardcore love right there,” Jaehwan added. “If you find someone who doesn’t care about what you did and what you were, and the only thing they know is that you can be good again, then why the fuck letting them go?” Jaehwan ranted. “And I’ve seen the pictures he gave to you, and hell, I didn’t know you can smile that much until now,”

“Jaehwan, are you taking pills again?” Daniel raised his eyebrow in amusement.

“I’m trying to be serious here, you little fuck,” Jaehwan nagged. “This is why you come to New York City, you want to find something, the universe has given you one,” Jaehwan concluded. “So do me and yourself a favor, Daniel, please be happy for the first time in forever and write that sappy disgusting love song,”.

 

\---

 

Christmas season is not exactly the most wonderful time of the year for Daniel at least, if he wasn’t on hiatus, he most probably would be preparing for some shit award shows that he has to attend and pretend that he is enjoying every single thing when all he wanted to do is just sleep, and their annual Christmas single release, and also the year-end ceremony – Daniel could list why Christmas isn’t his most favorite holiday.

It is different this year around, with Seongwoo dragging him at the end of November to the Rockefeller Center to watch the annual Christmas tree lightning. “You are going to thank all the goodness that you have such a credible tour guide like me,” Seongwoo said as he pulled their intertwined hands to get through the crowd for a better view – it became a habit after that day and Daniel doesn’t hate it even a bit.

“You don’t have to be a credible tour guide for me to thank all the goodness for your existence,” Daniel replied with a cheeky smile, and the smile became even wider when he saw the blood rushing to Seongwoo’s cheek – right then Daniel was the one who mesmerized.

“This is why you’re a songwriter,” Seongwoo replied instead. 

“We could make a good Instagram couple, you can be a photographer and I’ll take care of the caption.” Daniel laughed.

“Exactly, if you weren’t such a popular guy, we would probably break Instagram, if you posted a picture with me,” Seongwoo commented.

“I’m sorry you can’t break the Instagram yet, hyung.” Daniel smirked. 

“I don’t have any desire to do that either, so that’s okay,” Seongwoo replied.

“So, tell me about this annual lightning thing,” Daniel asked instead.

“It wouldn’t be Christmas in New York without this tree.” Seongwoo smiled at the idol.

“So, it’s like a sacred tradition? And you are taking me here? I’m honored.” Daniel smirked, again.

“It’s not exactly sacred, I just want to take you here,” Seongwoo snapped nonchalantly and Daniel was too stunned to reply.

“It’s too crowded around here,” Daniel protested instead right after as they couldn’t get a nearer spot to the tree due to the large crowd.

“Because it’s like five minutes before it and you know why we took a very long time to get here,” Seongwoo sneered in annoyance.

“Oh so you now blaming my average dressing up time? You came early today anyway,” Daniel countered, bumping his shoulders to the latter.

“Smile for my camera, rock star,” Seongwoo suddenly said as he lifted his camera.

“For your information, I only smile for your camera,” Daniel answered as he held up a peace sign and breaking into a wide grin. “Do you take a good shot?” Daniel said right after.

“When will I not take a good shots, of you in particular, I thought we settled that you are art.” Seongwoo raised his eyebrow nonchalantly – he was taken aback right after he realized how close Daniel’s face was when the younger was trying to look at his camera screen.

“You can’t just go anywhere and tell people they look like art every time without thinking that it wouldn’t somehow affect them.” Daniel sighed instead as he lifted up his head – it was even closer than before that Seongwoo could actually feel Daniel’s breath on his skin, the feelings were almost intoxicating. “Because it has been on my mind since the last time you said it to me, am I really art? I’m not that exactly pretty, hyung, most of myself is wrecked.”

Daniel was about to take a step back when Seongwoo didn’t respond with anything but a silent stare, when the older male raised his palm to touch Daniel’s freezing cheek all of the sudden – Daniel almost went numb. “Hey, life isn’t pretty too, we are all a little wrecked sometimes, but it doesn’t stop the fact that you are a wonder.” Seongwoo smiled slightly, his voice was almost buried by the chants that people were making.

That’s when Daniel decided that it was right then or never, as he cupped Seongwoo’s cheek back and leaned closer to the older to just kiss the hell out of him – but that was all before Seongwoo actually stopped him.

“What, why?” Daniel raised his eyebrow in both shock and hurt.

“No, I’m just –,” Seongwoo tried to make incoherent words but he failed and his heart sunk when he saw Daniel’s eyes. 

“Shit, I’m sorry, hyung, I thought –.”

“ _No_ , kiss me, rock star,” Seongwoo suddenly snapped. “I was just surprised, it’s like the air is choking me, I don’t want to kiss while feeling like puking out my dinner,” Seongwoo reckoned as he pulled Daniel closer again while the younger suddenly broke into a slight chuckle before leaning closer to kiss the older again – but Seongwoo just really liked to tease him by stopping him the second time.

“What is it now?” Daniel whined almost like a five years old.

“Nothing, I just want to see you whimper.” Seongwoo chuckled – but instead of complaining, Daniel pressed his lips to Seongwoo’s one right away, as if he didn’t want to waste any more second before he could finally feel the older’ soft lips against his – Daniel wants to be drown inside their kiss, if it was some kind of a dream, then he didn’t want to wake up, ever.

The crowd was chanting even more when they pulled away, Daniel kind of whined at the loss of Seongwoo’s touch. “I need to see the lighting up process,” Seongwoo reasoned when Daniel gave him a little pout, but Seongwoo suddenly moved closer that their body become attached to each other. The countdown started right after, as Daniel sneaking a hand around Seongwoo’s waist as he rested his head on Seongwoo’s shoulder.

“Beautiful,” Daniel murmured when the light finally turned on, it was hard to describe because the tree become more than just beautiful. “Thank you for letting me see this,” Daniel said as he nuzzled his head on the latter’s head unconsciously like it was a part of his habit.

“I know right,” Seongwoo replied before he turned his head to face Daniel. “I just bought a new rug earlier today, you know, to be placed in front of my fireplace,” Seongwoo stated all of the sudden, making Daniel confused at first but broke into a laughter a second later.

“Up until this second, I am still impressed that you have an apartment with a fireplace.” Daniel managed to say. 

“You know, we could go home after this, drink some wine, and just, use the rug, somehow.” Seongwoo shrugged.

“Are you asking me to stay over?” Daniel smirked in amusement.

“Unless you don’t want to then I’m fine actually with using the rug by myself,” Seongwoo snapped.

“Of course, I love rugs.” Daniel chuckled.

“It’s nice, on the skin, I like the texture,” Seongwoo blurted out nonchalantly.

“What are you actually implying, hyung,” Daniel said as he raised his eyebrow rather suggestively.

“Nothing, I just, really like my new rugs and I don’t want to ruin it,” Seongwoo replied.

“We can probably ruin something else then,” Daniel reckoned as he pulled Seongwoo for a side-hug. “Thank you for making me feel like I don’t carry anything on my back, and to feel decent, at least,” Daniel muttered afterward.

“I’m glad then, rock star.” Seongwoo smiled at Daniel before he actually gave the younger a quick peck on the lips – but Daniel sensed something else when Seongwoo just stared at him afterward. 

“What is it, hyung?” The younger male asked nonetheless, even though it kind of scared him if Seongwoo suddenly regretted everything they had done, which is impossible, _right_?

“Are we on the same page, Daniel?” Seongwoo asked instead. 

“We are, New York is our chapter after all.” Daniel smiled cheekily at the older. “We are going to create a goddamn New York Times’s best-selling book,” The younger male added as he laced their fingers together, which Seongwoo only replied with a small smirk with a slight unimpressed scoff. “Oh, and, Seongwoo hyung,”.

“I have decided that I like you anyway,”.

 

\---

 

“I have something to talk about and it’s pretty serious,” Seongwoo said while leaning to Minhyun’s bathroom door frame – Minhyun was in the middle of brushing his teeth when Seongwoo barged into his rented apartment.

“Let me guess, it’s about Kang Daniel?” Minhyun smirked knowingly when Seongwoo let out a small groan.

“You don’t actually hate him, right, Minhyun?” Seongwoo asked afterward as he launched himself on Minhyun’s bed.

“Why? Do you need my approval to date him or something?” Minhyun raised his eyebrow when he finished his bathroom business. 

“Kind of.” Seongwoo shrugged nonchalantly.

“Because he may or may _not_ have said the _like_ word, like he actually likes me for just me, not just like hanging out with me and stuff, I asked, trust me,” Seongwoo blabbered. 

“Maybe _not_ if it’s up to my preferences, but looking at your state, it’s most probably maybe yes,” Minhyun deadpanned.

“Okay, so it’s a yes, I mean, do you actually hate him that much?” Seongwoo raised his eyebrow skeptically.

“Seongwoo, he doesn’t actually have the best first impression, or the best impression at all,” Minhyun reckoned.

“Well, he does kind of suck at first impression.” Seongwoo shrugged nonchalantly – Seongwoo wanted to continue ranting about how it doesn’t matter but Minhyun’s disapproving look made him hesitate, about more than just that. Maybe Minhyun’s approval shouldn’t matter that much, really, but Minhyun is his best friend, they have been together for god knows how long.

“That’s not the point,” Minhyun argued and let out a deep sigh afterward. “Do you really like him?” Minhyun asked instead after a fleeting moment.

“I do, I mean look, I could imagine me and him dancing in front of my overpriced fireplace on new year’s night, beer bottles and polaroid pictures scattered around my stupid artificial rug that is already torn a little, with The 1975 songs or his songs and I would want to do it all over again, every single day,”.

“You sounded like you fell in love already, _stop_ ,” Minhyun said as he faked a gag.

“Minhyun, stop insulting me and try to like Daniel instead, I promise you, he is a nice person, stop being so difficult, you ass,” Seongwoo huffed.

“I’m actually flattered that you actually need my approval.” Minhyun grinned nonchalantly. “Well, anyway, I wanted to say that I’m happy that you are happy but also that I warned you, but it’s still your right to like someone,” He added. “And if you are happy, then I will try to work on my preferences then,” Minhyun continued. 

“Thank you, appreciate your effort really,” Seongwoo huffed at the end as Minhyun exhaled another deep breath which caused Seongwoo to raised his eyebrow cynically, knowing that Minhyun wasn’t anywhere near done yet with his lecture. “But really, Seongwoo,”

“Please don’t fall in love with the moment and think that you and him are somehow meant to be,”.

 

\---

 

It was Kang Daniel’s birthday and the man himself actually just wanted to spend it casually with some of his friends – just three, really and that is if Hwang Minhyun wanted to be in the same room with him, and also if he counted Seongwoo as just his friend, and if he hasn’t yet killed Jaehwan for reminding him that his name somehow topped the chart that morning.

“Well, at least you know that you’re still relevant,” Jaehwan defended himself when he pulled a piece of rainbow cake from the fridge. “Happy freaking birthday, asshole, I love you too, and you’re welcome, almost cancelling this nice and kind surprise if you actually stayed at Seongwoo’s place last night,” Jaehwan exclaimed excitingly while Daniel murmured a low _should’ve done it_ and he watched Jaehwan abused the cake with a candle – it took the latter five minutes to be able to light it up but nonetheless, Daniel appreciates the effort.

He really had it planned with help from Seongwoo, like figuring out where the best place for skiing was that served the best alcohol but also not too crowded – Seongwoo gave him a skeptical look at first but gave out a list of possible places around the town and made a resort reservation for four people as Seongwoo insisted that he could get Minhyun to join even though Daniel wasn’t really sure if it was a good idea or not.

He did realize that most of it was his fault that Minhyun was rude to him. It was almost uncanny to expect someone to like him without looking back to his past mistakes that Daniel would rather forget. In all honesty, he wouldn’t want his best friend to hang out with someone like him either, so he kind of understands what Minhyun sees in him.

In fact, taking a break for Daniel is more than just finding himself, it’s also about how he is tired running away from his problems, from his past ghosts that keep haunting him and whispering his mistakes on his ears before he goes to sleep every night. Daniel is the epitome of trouble, the kind of people that you really hate to love, and none of the media are actually wrong when they brought up his issues with the society.

Minhyun wasn’t wrong to judge him and Minhyun isn’t illogical to prevent Seongwoo to play around with a problematic idol with his nefarious antic and promiscuous habits – he once showed up being half-drunk on a broadcast for fuck’s sake and caught on a numerous smoking acts by fans if that wasn’t enough prove that Daniel was living the dangerous and bad-boy concept wholeheartedly and he desperately wants it to end somehow, hence the crying scene and the New York getaway.

Daniel could definitely tell that Minhyun still dislikes his gesture, or his whole presence – but it was his birthday, Minhyun could take a break from all those death glare games he had been playing since he picked Seongwoo up along with Jaehwan, Daniel thought something like that earlier. And thankfully, Minhyun seems to have more conscience than he will ever have that the latter actually start being friendlier when they arrived at the resort’s bar.

So his so-called birthday party was going well. Daniel was grateful about that at least and Hwang Minhyun is a nice person like Jaehwan claimed and everyone seems to be in a good mood. They were chattering and talking about random topics – Jaehwan started to complain about the lack of sleep he used to have before in the middle of the chats and a second round of beer, when Daniel’s phone suddenly rang. Daniel then excused himself for a little bit as he got out from the building and the cold and snow sent chills to his body immediately.

“What is it, hyung?” Daniel answered as soon as he picked up.

“ _Happy birthday, Niel_.” Yoon Jisung chuckled instead from the other side.

“Well, thanks, _director_ , got your favorite money-maker a gift this year?” Daniel laughed as a thick smoke came out from his mouth as soon as he exhaled.

“ _I almost miss your stupid, harsh mouth, Daniel, I hope you are having fun in New York while I’m doing the most for your damage control_ ,” Jisung snapped instead.

“Thank you for that, I know I can count on you.” Daniel smiled nonetheless and he was pretty sure that Jisung could _hear_ him doing that.

“ _You have to have a good time while you are there, you hear me? Please do remember that you have to come back no matter what_ ,” Jisung muttered the last part with a visible hesitation from his voice.

“Why? The company’s income dropped already?” Daniel concealed his bitterness with his sarcasm instead.

“ _Because you can’t expect me to cover for you forever, Daniel, someday you have to come back and face all of this again_ ,” Jisung reckoned.

“ _Because this job is still your responsibilities_ ,” Jisung concluded – Daniel sighed and he hoped Jisung didn’t hear that.

“I know, I will notify you my return then,” Daniel replied stoically. 

“ _Hey, I’m not giving you any deadline, just come back when you feel like you should_ ,” Jisung said before he bid the younger goodbye and a birthday greeting once again with a small laugh.

Daniel hung up the phone call with an instant headache – the thought of going back suddenly scared him, so he likes being nobody and going around with Seongwoo every single day, and he literally doesn’t care that he has to share a place with Jaehwan if that means he will be able to stay a little longer than he should.

“Something wrong?” Daniel turned his head when a familiar voice joined his silence, and Seongwoo was standing there beside him, wrapped in his black coat.

“Yeah,” Daniel replied shortly as he stuffed back his phone into his pocket, wondering whether he could just put away his conversation with Jisung just like that.

“On your birthday? Whatever it is, it’s kind of rude to ruin someone’s born day.” Seongwoo chuckled instead.

“You can go try to fix it.” Daniel grinned nonchalantly as he turned his head to face the older male. 

“Hey, I made a last minute reservation for this ridiculously awesome ski resort that is two hours away from the city just because you want to see a bunch of snow and be away from people, is this not my attempt to fix your miserable life yet?” Seongwoo ranted as he took a couple steps away.

“You’re doing great,” Daniel laughed when Seongwoo pouted as he bent down a little bit before throwing a snowball to Daniel’s direction – it almost hit the latter but Seongwoo missed unfortunately, which caused Daniel to burst into a loud sneering laugh. “You’re still doing great.” Daniel held up both of his thumbs to Seongwoo, who threw another snowball and missed nonetheless.

Seconds later, Daniel was pretty sure that he legitimately ate some of the snow when Seongwoo aimed straight to his face and did not miss, which caused Seongwoo to gasp before bursting into a victorious laugh. Daniel was just staring at the scene of the older boy laughing his heart out with a disbelief smile. “You know I will get back at you, right, hyung?” Daniel raised his eyebrow mischievously afterward as he bent down to form some balls.

“You won’t – _goodness_.” Seongwoo let out a whimper when the snowball hit his shoulder and it was Daniel’s turn to laugh victoriously. “How come you nail it in one try?” Seongwoo snapped in annoyance when Daniel came closer to his direction. “That is so unfair,” Seongwoo added.

“I’m good with my hands, hyung, you should practice more,” Daniel said playfully as he brushed off the remaining snow from Seongwoo’s coat.

“What is that suppose to mean? I have good hands too, do you know how heavy some cameras are?” Seongwoo snorted nonchalantly. 

“Speaking of that, I don’t see you bringing any of your cameras?” Daniel raised his eyebrow as he fixed Seongwoo’s scarf.

“Yeah, I just don’t feel like it.” Seongwoo shrugged.

“You don’t feel like taking beautiful shots of me in this pretty snow?” Daniel sneered.

“Exactly, because of your conceited ass,” Seongwoo snapped.

“Yeah, but you like me,” Daniel reckoned afterward with a smile playing on his lips.

“Nice conclusion, rock star,” Seongwoo said instead as he replied Daniel’s smile with another grin. “By the way, I heard they have a really good pizza stand at the east side of the lodge,” Seongwoo said out of the blue. 

“Are you suggesting that we ditch Jaehwan and Minhyun-ssi for pizza, Seongwoo hyung?” Daniel raised his eyebrow in amusement – Seongwoo didn’t answer to that but he pulled Daniel’s arms to start walking instead.

Half past eight in the evening on Daniel’s birthday, he was sitting on the pavement with a box of pepperoni pizza, a cigarette between his fingers and Seongwoo, and yet Daniel couldn’t think about any better way to spend his day than that. Seongwoo was busy stuffing his mouth with the food meanwhile Daniel was actually trying to warm up his body a little bit, even though it gave literally no effect at all to his body – he just like to have an excuse for him to smoke.

 

“Are they telling you come back already?” Seongwoo spoke up out of the blue, which made Daniel inhaled his cigarette harder than before. “It was a wild assumption, but I guess it’s true then?” Seongwoo let out a small chuckle.

“Not exactly like that, but I get the hint.” Daniel shrugged it off. “I mean, my director, his name is Yoon Jisung, he’s a wonderful person, he took me in like I’m his own brother and keeps up with my shit, I mean, that’s something,” Daniel continued and followed by a confused look when Seongwoo suddenly intertwined their free hands together, but Daniel didn’t protest either – why would he anyway. Seongwoo’s usual cold hands were warm that night. “You are surprisingly warm tonight, almost feel like home, hyung, it’s dangerous.” Daniel chuckled.

“It’s still your job,” Seongwoo added after awhile. “You will do just fine after this.” Seongwoo smiled at Daniel.

“It’s still cold like the winter,” Daniel replied instead.

“Well, you don’t to face the cold alone anymore, Daniel,” Seongwoo stated while playing with the latter’s fingers. “I’ll keep you warm,” Seongwoo added when he patted Daniel’s head with his other hand, which caused the latter to feel so small and safe, like Daniel was ready to just ditch everything to stay like that. The younger slowly closed the remaining gap between them and pulled Seongwoo’s scarf before pressing their lips together – it was a quick peck but Daniel meant it.

“It’s suddenly snowing,” Seongwoo muttered afterward when they noticed snow falling from the sky. Seongwoo was startled when Daniel abruptly stood up and stretched out his hand. “What?” Seongwoo let out a small laugh when Daniel pulled him close after he grabbed the younger’s hand. 

“Dance with me,” Daniel proposed while grinning widely to the latter as if he just gave out the most brilliant idea ever. 

“Like now? Without any music?” Seongwoo raised his eyebrow in amusement as he followed the movement Daniel was making. Daniel nodded as he gently pressed his forehead to Seongwoo’s, moving slowly as one of his hand found its place on Seongwoo’s waist, while Seongwoo was just letting out a small laugh as if they were doing the most ridiculous thing, but he complied to it nonetheless. “You have quite a nice leg movement, rock star,” Seongwoo complimented in the middle of their random waltz.

“I have a lot of nice movement, hyung,” Daniel said as he hugged Seongwoo all of the sudden, while still dancing.

“You smell nice,” Seongwoo commented as he inhaled a deep breath while sniffing Daniel’s hair before planting a small kiss on his temple, his hands were on Daniel’s nape. 

“I always do, I’m an idol, hyung,” Daniel joked while nuzzling his head on Seongwoo’s crook as Seongwoo played with the back of his hair. They stayed like that for a couple more minutes until they decided it was a perfect time to go back to their own room, and Daniel managed to convince Seongwoo to stay at his instead. “I thought you didn’t bring your camera.” Daniel raised his eyebrow in amusement when he saw Seongwoo’s usual daily camera that he knew so well – because Seongwoo took pictures of Daniel mainly with it – laying on the top of the couch along with the older’ clothes.

“To the bar, yes,” Seongwoo replied nonchalantly as he joined Daniel, who just plopped down to his bed and closed his eyes immediately. Seconds later, Daniel then could feel that someone was already on the top of him, and he was pretty sure it was Seongwoo’s another attempt to annoy him, or to see him whine. “Smile, rock star,” Seongwoo said and Daniel immediately smiled upon the request when he found the familiar camera lens directed at him.

“Hey have I ever told you that your whole group is worth like three hundred fifty millions bucks, Niel?” Seongwoo stated out of the blue with a slight chuckle afterward. “Which means that you worth almost ninety millions dollars,” Seongwoo added.

“Well, no, since we have to split with the company half of our net revenue, hyung, and what? Are you trying to sell _me_ now?” Daniel grabbed Seongwoo’s wrist gently and pulled him so the older landed just right beside him.

“That still makes you worth forty-five millions dollars, Niel, and that’s a lot of huge piles of Benjamin Franklin,” Seongwoo laughed when Daniel hugged him.

“Yeah, I am expensive like that,” Daniel replied as he buried his face on the crook of Seongwoo’s neck. “What’s with the sudden fact check though?” Daniel muttered.

“Well, I was just wondering, since I never get to ask you before, it just crossed my mind,” Seongwoo replied as he stroked Daniel’s hair gently.

“I thought we settled that I’m so expensive and famous and apparently, everybody wants me,” Daniel shrugged nonchalantly. 

“So conceited,” Seongwoo snapped immediately.

“When you are on my level, Ong Seongwoo, you will understand that I have the rights.” Daniel burst into a loud laugh when Seongwoo hit him vigorously.

“You are so annoying, I thought you are a changed man,” Seongwoo reckoned.

“Well, you like me nonetheless, right?” Daniel stated – a tiny part of him wanted Seongwoo to say _yes_ , since the older never really said it which drives Daniel crazy, he was supposed to be the one with a stubborn mind and for him to say that he likes someone is a huge thing – it was a big deal for him and he has done it repeatedly without getting any feedback.

So the ghost of the past never really disappeared, maybe it will keep haunting Daniel that not even Seongwoo could like him after whatever shit he had done in the past.  Daniel knew he was fucked when Seongwoo turned away his head for a second before smiling to Daniel’s direction again, lips parted as if he wanted to say something but the hesitation was bigger than the words. Daniel doesn’t want to care anymore, he just want to feel decent even it was only last at that moment, on his birthday, in New York City, before he can confirm his return date to Jisung.

 

“Happy birthday again, rock star,”.

 

\---

 

Daniel found a doctor’s prescription on the kitchen’s counter that morning, along with a couple of small pills container beside it. He immediately eyed Jaehwan, who was busy opening a bottle of beer. “It’s for precaution.” Jaehwan didn’t have to look at the latter to know that Daniel was expecting a closure from him. 

“I might also need this sometimes, does your doctor mind if we share?” Daniel grinned, but Jaehwan knew better that the latter wasn’t joking.

“Don’t, Daniel,” Jaehwan stated sternly.

“Hey, I already covered for you before, and my reputation has been tainted and people see me as a pills addict already, so what’s the harm if I take this?” Daniel replied nonchalantly.

“They destroyed you from the inside, addiction and dependency, don’t you hate them the most? I know you have been taking those once in awhile but _stop_ ,” Jaehwan raised his eyebrow. “And don’t do that ever again,” Jaehwan snapped as he take a gulp of his beer.

Daniel was about to question the latter when Jaehwan glared at him, somehow telling him that he was being dead serious about every part of their conversation at that moment. “Don’t cover for me again, if they ever found out again somehow than let them know that I’m the one who needs all of these,” Jaehwan exclaimed.

“We all have difficulties, and it’s not fine if you keep taking all the blame for us just because your image is far too damaged already, Daniel, that’s why I told you from the first place that we need to be clear to the press that this is not just because of you and your stupid ass that we are taking a break,” Jaehwan continued before ending it with a deep sigh.

Daniel always knows that Jaehwan have a problem with his sanity, particularly began since the band started to become famous enough that every move they made become a top story – Daniel guessed that the anxiety became too hard to handle at some point, so Jaehwan started to go see the therapist. It wasn’t that severe at the first few years, but last year Jaehwan just couldn’t cope up with the stress anymore that he needed to have his therapist around for two months.

It was also when the public started to talk and the triggering headline started to surface – but all of them never pointed to him, and they were all putting the blame to no other than the band’s guitarist himself – Kang Daniel. The problem was that Daniel refused to clear out the misunderstanding, that the therapist was there to keep Jaehwan from overdosing, not Daniel, but since he was with the bad reputation already from the start, he decided that it was the best that Jaehwan to stay clean – and Jaehwan thought there is nothing more reckless than that, and also the fact that the guitarist is so persistent and stubborn about it that no one could change his mind.

At the end, Daniel thought that getting a hiatus a probably a good idea, a time period to go somewhere or do something that is out of the context of what they are doing as a band – but he did not expect that the members agreed that fast to his proposal – Kim Jaehwan and Park Jihoon almost said _yes_ right away after Daniel said taking a break for indefinite time, while Kim Jonghyun only approved a day later after discussing the matter with their director, Yoon Jisung and getting his approval as well, even though the rest of the members are still clueless about what the fuck did Jonghyun do that Jisung settled to put his number one income on hiatus.

“Why are you even thinking about taking these stupid medicine? Love life is on the edge of failing? Seongwoo finally realizing that you are, in fact, an ass?” Jaehwan distracted Daniel’s deep thought as he raised his eyebrow.

“He actually invited me to his gig tonight.” Daniel sighed. 

“So? What’s with the _help me I am devastated_ sigh and where’s the disgusting heart eyes that you always have whenever you mention his name, lover boy?” Jaehwan sneered.  

“This is going to sound very much like a high school girl but I don’t think he likes me back, Jaehwan,” Daniel replied rather seriously. Jaehwan let out a scornful sound and Daniel also never heard Jaehwan scoffed louder that.

“Yeah, that’s why you two fuck each other next to my door and he willingly keep up with you and your pretentious, self-centered ass, and that’s also why he kisses you and looks at you like you are a one fine man, sure, Daniel, Seongwoo doesn’t like you,” Jaehwan reckoned with a mocking tone.

“But he just doesn’t say it back, and I said it, Jaehwan, imagine me saying _I like you_ first to someone, _me_ , the Kang Daniel, number one stubborn fuck, if he likes me then he should just say it,” Daniel retorted.

“Listen here, you imbecile, that is because maybe not everyone is as straightforward as you,” Jaehwan reasoned and Daniel quite hated the fact that the latter was actually making some sense. “The chances of him not liking you back is like super low and you don’t have to worry about that, chin up, mate, Seongwoo is into you, betting my fortune on it.” Jaehwan sounded so sure that he almost convinced Daniel – he still feeling doubtful eventually and it wasn’t because Jaehwan’s words haven’t sunk in yet, it was just him being insecure and the thought of it alone is supposed to be ridiculous – since when Kang Daniel allowed himself to feel so afraid and helpless?

Daniel decided that he doesn’t want to care anymore, so what if Seongwoo is unable to say it back _yet_? It shouldn’t be a problem and nothing should be Daniel’s problem at this point since he was there in New York to get rid of his problems not adding the new one. But still, it’s not like he was trying to conceal his over-excitement about having Seongwoo’s companion, he arrived at the bar an hour earlier just to seat around.

“ _Have you heard? Park Jihoon was spotted at Incheon a couple days ago_.” Daniel almost choked on his drink when the girls that was sitting beside him starting to talk, it doesn’t take some English expert to figure out that they were talking about his band-mate.

“ _Is he going to somewhere in particular? We haven’t heard about other members too_ ,” One of the girls huffed as she slammed her glass to the counter – good thing that Daniel was facing the other way around.

“ _This is getting frustrating, are they going to disband or are they coming back? People keep talking that this is their way to slowly disappear, but that’s fucking unfair_ ,” The other girl ranted along. “ _Hundred and One cannot just fucking come to an end just like that_.” Daniel decided it’s the cue for him to leave the bar, but fortunately for him, the girls were ahead of him by leaving earlier.

“They were fans, weren’t they? You look like you are about to shit your pants.” A familiar voice made Daniel looked up from the counter as his eyes lit up when he saw Seongwoo.

“Well, do you have to make it so obvious?” Daniel threw a playful glare at Seongwoo immediately. 

“I don’t know that they would scare you that much though, it was almost funny.” Seongwoo smirked.

“Anyway, I can’t wait to see you abusing those drums tonight, you must’ve looked so hot doing that,” Daniel replied instead.

“Not as hot as you with those mind blowing guitar performances, rock star,” Seongwoo said as he told the barista to get him a glass of Scotch.

“Stop calling me that, it’s really embarrassing.” Daniel frowned.

“Either that or global icon, you choose.” Seongwoo chuckled when he received his glass, and Daniel only snorted as the reply. “Anyway, I need to talk to you about something,” Seongwoo stated all of the sudden and Daniel could feel the tense was rising immediately as Seongwoo stared at him almost blankly. 

“What’s wrong?” Daniel replied with a worried tone as he caught Seongwoo fidgeting nervously – the way he opened his mouth only to close it a second later made Daniel want to throw up all of the sudden, it was going to take a bad turn, Daniel knows it – so Daniel stood up abruptly from his seat. “Can it wait, hyung? I need to go to the restroom first,” Daniel announced, which got Seongwoo to raise his eyebrow skeptically, but he nodded nonetheless.

“Why are you taking your drink?” Seongwoo asked as Daniel walked pass by him while holding his glass.

“Just because.” Daniel raised it instead as he grinned before continuing his walk to the restroom, completely dismissing the cynical stare from the older.

Daniel thought again about his life in a flash inside the crappy bathroom in the middle of New York’s nightlife like that is the most fitting place to do so. With the dim loud music as his background, Daniel stared back at his reflection on the dirty mirror – he looked even more wrecked than he first set his foot in New York, he wondered what the hell happened to his plan and his positivity about starting new.

He wasn’t sure why he did it as he reached the pills on one side of his leather jacket as he took some and swallowed it with the glass of Scotch he brought with him earlier – it was almost ironic really, Daniel went across the globe to get away to unattached all the shits he have with him just to add another one. Jonghyun, or Jisung shouldn’t even trust him, and Jaehwan too – Jaehwan shouldn’t just hand Daniel his medicine with a mere belief that Daniel is capable enough to control his deprivation and his recklessness.

Daniel still couldn’t decided whether he wanted to hear what Seongwoo has to say or to just run away from the older male, hoping that the medicine will solve his dilemma but it didn’t do shit except giving him somewhat a headache and he started to lose his focus when he got out from the restroom, making him struggled a little to reach the bar, but when he finally there, he wasn’t liking what he saw.

There was a man, almost the size of Daniel was actually talking to Seongwoo in the most flirtatious way Daniel could interpret, with his hand placed on one of Seongwoo’s shoulder. Daniel immediately fastened his pace when Seongwoo pushed the man away almost forcefully.

He didn’t really think much anymore when he landed a punch on the man’s face and it didn’t even take a second for the man to hit him back. It turned into chaos just a moment later when Daniel was trying to get up from the floor, as his nose won’t stop bleeding, even though his opponent didn’t look any better either. He was trying so hard to hit back with the last portion of his consciousness but unfortunately the fight was never his to won over as his vision went black.

 

\---

 

It was dawn, _almost_ , and Daniel was at the waiting room, staying put until his flight number to be called. It was only approximately thirty hours since he passed out on the stupid bar in New York, but when he woke up just hours later alone on the hospital bed and the doctor claimed that someone called _Yoon Jisung_ has called him, Kang Daniel knew he was screwed. He demanded to be discharge right away – Jaehwan compiled his request right away and when he got into his temporary apartment, Jisung called again.

“ _Go back,_ now _, and you can tell me every damn thing_ ,” Yoon Jisung said, and Daniel followed his order, because one, he kind of fucked up and two, in this kind of situation, he should be grateful that the director hasn’t yet recruited an assassin to kill him on the spot _yet_ – Daniel likes that word, _yet_ . Like, how he haven’t called Seongwoo and vice versa since the bar accident, _yet_ . Like how his fucking career haven’t crumbled down just _yet_.

“It wasn’t that bad.” Daniel wasn’t sure whether he was trying to assure Jaehwan or himself at that point – but it managed to get Jaehwan to move away from the glass window.

“What wasn’t that bad?” Jaehwan raised his eyebrow nonchalantly.

“This whole thing.” Daniel shrugged nonchalantly.

“Kind of bad since, you know, Jisung hyung won’t call us back home if he could do the damage control,” Jaehwan deadpanned and he had the valid point.

“Did you check the news?” Daniel asked afterward, which Jaehwan only replied by shaking his head.

“I was too scared, I guess, I don’t know.” Jaehwan sighed. 

“Me too,” Daniel added, which Jaehwan responded with a smirk. 

“That’s new.” Jaehwan grinned.

“Everything is new for me right now, Jaehwan.” Daniel exhaled a deep sigh, which was disturbed by the phone call that was coming from his pocket, and he answered it right away.

“ _Where are you?_ ” Jisung was much calmer then, but it honestly terrified Daniel even more.

“The airport, hyung, this is the fastest ticket I can get to come back to Seoul.” Daniel sighed.

“ _Look, Daniel_ .” Jisung paused and Daniel could hear him taking a deep sigh. “ _I have instructed everyone to go home immediately_ ,” The older male finally said.

“What are you talking about?” Daniel raised his eyebrow as he walked away from Jaehwan, which left the latter with confusion.

Daniel came back ten minutes later with an even darker expression than before and it honestly scared Jaehwan more than it should have – he just knew that something utterly fucked up happened when Daniel just sat beside him without saying anything as the latter stared blankly to the space in front of him. “Jonghyun hyung and Jihoon weren’t in Seoul at the moment, so they are coming back too, right now.” The bitterness that was coming from Daniel was too strong for Jaehwan to miss.

“Why? I mean, Niel, you just fought with a guy at a bar, it’s pretty normal, and plus, you were defending someone – Seongwoo in this case, which we could definitely address as your best friend.” Jaehwan shrugged.

“It’s not if turned out the man was actually one of Seongwoo’s friends too, and that’s not just it, Jaehwan, I think I fucked up real bad this time,” Daniel replied instead.

“How?” Jaehwan raised his eyebrow.

“Someone admitted that they saw me took some pills at the toilet earlier before the fight,” Daniel stated flatly and Jaehwan immediately scooted closer to the latter to comfort him, but Daniel hasn’t even gotten to the worst part of all. “I don’t care about that actually, there is something more serious and it was uploaded on a fan’s forum, Jaehwan.” Daniel almost whispered the last part and Jaehwan suddenly scared about whatever Daniel is about to drop on his face.

“There’s a gallery posted online yesterday, and Jisung hyung sent me some of the most talked pictures,” Daniel added almost too stoically, it’s like everything that he has finally left him behind and only the pain would stay for a really long time. “It was filled with my pictures, all of it, every single part of me in New York.” Daniel choked on his own words – he feels like crying again, Daniel already hates himself more than anything.

Jaehwan was speechless, like he wanted to say something but every word got stuck in his throat – he should have never pushed it, he feels guilty for everything, but most of all, he feels guilty that Daniel has to go through all of that when the latter was just about to go out and open himself completely to someone. Jaehwan feels like he was breaking apart too when Daniel turned away his head while chuckling too bitterly all of the sudden.

“And he even named it _destructed art_ ,”

 

\---

 

Daniel feels like he was going to die soon – the air was choking him, the way Jonghyun looked at him as if he was looking for an exact answer, while Jihoon shot him a straight up pity glance, in the middle of their usual meeting room. “Tell me, from the very first beginning, do not leave any detail, even if you fuck someone or their boyfriends, I want to understand, what did you do and why the fuck there is a gallery, a whole three hundred pictures of you, _online_ ,” Jisung started almost calmly.

“I met someone,” Daniel stated faintly while blowing out the smoke from his mouth, even a cigarette can’t save him from nervousness then – _no_ , he accidentally took home that someone’s belonging and Daniel decided that he _wanted_ to meet that someone, it wasn’t just because he met someone. And that someone is great, almost _too_ wonderful, Ong Seongwoo is everything he wished he had found earlier in his life.

“That someone’s name is Ong Seongwoo, a photography master student in New York, and all the pictures that were posted are taken from his camera.” Jisung’s assistant decided to cut into the case all of the sudden. “The same man also with Daniel that night when he fought at the bar and the person who testified that Daniel was using drugs and the one Daniel had a fight with were his friends,” The male assistant added.

“You think it was a setup,” Daniel snapped out of the blue as he inhaled the stick in between his fingers, sounding almost offended.

“It doesn’t matter what I think, Daniel, but what the public think does matter,” The assistant pointed out.

“You wanted to put all the blame on him, you wanted to make it like Daniel was scammed,” Jonghyun concluded at the end.

“Absolutely not,” Daniel cut in almost immediately while slamming his hand to the table.

“I am going to make myself clear that I am against that kind of damage control, it’s unfair for him, goddammit, you are ruining someone else’s life to save me and my career? That’s just not going to happen,” Daniel ranted as he abruptly stood up at the end in anger.

“Daniel, it is the best option we have for now, and you absolutely have to follow the company’s policy, and we will hold a press conference soon regarding this issue,” The assistant stated.

“Okay, you know what, I’m sorry Jisung hyung, but fuck your assistant and fuck your company’s policy, you know what, there is even nothing scandalous inside that gallery, it was just me, you don’t have to make it as a big deal, but you all did, because it’s me, and the public just love to shit on me, they just love to make me the bad guy, because it’s fucking me, it’s Kang Daniel.” Daniel almost threw his chair for all he cares but he did not, unfortunately. “Because, it’s Kang Daniel, and everyone loves to hate me, every single one of them.” Daniel muttered the last part.

“Jisung hyung, can you give me a moment with my member, please?” Jonghyun decided to break the tension, which Jisung agreed right away and left the four members behind. “Okay, Daniel, you know you don’t have to be so dramatic but you did, you decided that you have feelings now? Like you did when you cried?” Jonghyun spoke up first. 

“I don’t need this now, Jonghyun hyung, I don’t need them to push me to make up some stupid story that could ruin Seongwoo’s life,” Daniel replied in frustration.

“Hyung, so you really like this guy,” Jihoon added instead.

“And that guy likes him back, trust me you two, the way they stared at each other is disgusting,” Jaehwan said nonchalantly. 

“Then why did he do that? Why did he upload the pictures then?” Jihoon asked the ultimate question that has Daniel on edge – he was too numb to even answer or to think of a proper answer because he didn’t know himself why would Seongwoo do that – Daniel trusted him.

“I don’t fucking know.” Daniel gritted his teeth instead, in sorrow or anger, he didn’t really want to know anything any longer.

“Seongwoo hyung wouldn’t do that in my opinion, though,” Jaehwan replied nonchalantly and Daniel wanted to believe it so bad like the way he believe in Seongwoo so easily the first time they met.

“Do you think he did it?” Daniel knew that Jonghyun’s question was for him. It was perplexing for Daniel to find the right answer because in all honesty he doesn’t want to find one – he rather have the honeyed lie than the stabbing truth for all he cares or not care. His mind went utterly blank when Jonghyun raised his eyebrow at him, dying with his curiosity so Daniel decided to run by hastily leaving the room and slammed the door hard, which caused Jonghyun to let out a deep sigh.

“He won’t stop doing that, will he?” Jonghyun said as he massaged his own forehead in visible tiredness.

“He did, he wanted to stop running,” Jaehwan replied as he shrugged.

“Because of this Seongwoo guy?” Jihoon raised his eyebrow as Jaehwan nodded in reply.

“Did you guys see the pictures? His pictures that Seongwoo took?” Jaehwan suddenly asked with a slight grin. “They are something else, right?” Jaehwan continued.

“They are.” Jonghyun smiled back. “It’s been awhile since he looked that happy,” The leader continued.

“You’re right, I don’t have to drag Seongwoo out of the house because they would still be together the morning after, you know, he wasn’t just some stranger,” Jaehwan said nonchalantly. 

“I’m pretty sure there are a lot of other examples to prove your point, Jaehwan hyung but whatever sails your boat,” Jihoon cut in. 

“The bottom line is.” Jaehwan paused for a moment afterward. “There was something real between them, you know, and it’s worth fighting for,”.

 

\---

 

The snow has covered Seoul from days ago, but that day was actually colder than before, maybe because Daniel was unable to feel anything, especially after he stepped out from the press conference venue and fucked up the script that the company has given him an hour before – just because he still wanted to protect Seongwoo in every way possible. Besides, Jonghyun knew anyway and gave him sort of a green light and Jisung wasn’t so mad at him either.

But they decided that they have ended their hiatus and will release a single soon for some kind of an apology to the fans, for worrying them and Daniel honestly doesn’t know which one is worse – Daniel doesn’t know yet whether he wanted to come back that fast or not just because he feels like he needs more time to think, to regain his utter composure and mind, and he has yet to decide whether to end his whole persona or not.

Daniel was led by Jaehwan right then to somewhere he didn’t recognize, but the latter claimed that the place have the best coffee ever and that New York doesn’t have this kind of good stuffs – Jaehwan exaggerates a lot, but Daniel doesn’t really care at that moment, until they arrived in front of the building that was designed with a whole glass window and Daniel spotted a certain person so easily because he was sitting near the window.

Daniel took a deep breath as if he was saying that he should’ve known Jaehwan can’t be nice all of the sudden without any motive as he turned his head to glare at the latter, who was grinning cheekily beside him. Daniel doesn’t want it anymore, in fact, Daniel is that close to wish that he never visited New York, never lost his journal, never knew the name Ong Seongwoo and Jaehwan just really like to test his temper.

“I know you are going to be mad,” Jaehwan cut in immediately when Daniel decided to walk away from the scene.

“You know and you still did it? I don’t know I have such a great friend,” Daniel replied with a thick sarcasm filling his tone.

“ _Fixable_ , fancy word, I know, but this is fixable,” Jaehwan replied, almost softly.

“How do you expect someone who broke this to fix, whatever is this?” Daniel snapped.

“Because that’s how you fix it, Daniel, you can’t let anyone do the damage control for this but you, because this doesn’t destroy anyone worse than you, because you will keep wondering of what went wrong, because this will haunt you until the next winter and you will still think that this is not fucking fixable when it is,” Jaehwan burst.

“Jaehwan, why do you care?” Daniel asked, and part of him was really confused and curious.

“Because for a moment, you were so fucking happy, you little shit,” Jaehwan snapped again. “And you haven’t been any more happy than that for a long time, and for a moment I thought you did it, this hiatus brought something meaningful,” Jaehwan continued rather angrily.

“Now, go inside and do the talk, I’ll pick you up again later, do you hear me?” Jaehwan concluded as he pointed to the building and glared back at Daniel – the latter has never seen Jaehwan so determined about someone like that, that’s why Daniel nodded willingly afterward before he sighed and entered the small coffee shop, which is surprisingly reeked of cinnamon and sugar.

“I am only here because Jaehwan scolded me, I’m giving you five minutes so talk,” Daniel announced immediately as he pulled the chair and abruptly seat in front of the man. 

“And I’m only doing this for Seongwoo’s sake and sanity, don’t worry Daniel-ssi, neither of us wants to be here, but I believe we can compromise,” Hwang Minhyun replied nonchalantly as he offered Daniel a tight smile.

“Fair enough.” Daniel nodded as signaled the older male to go on.

“His family is pressing charges, you know,” Minhyun started.

“To who? _Me_?” Daniel raised his eyebrow in confusion.

“To the girl that took Seongwoo’s memory card without his permission and uploaded your pictures online under Seongwoo’s name,” Minhyun replied instead and Daniel almost choked on his own spit before he could progress everything Minhyun was saying.

“He was trying to tell you about it that night before you went rampant over some strangers being flirty, oh, they might also press charges to the guy who claimed to be Seongwoo’s friend when Seongwoo never even seen him before,” Minhyun continued too calmly that Daniel almost thought he was the only one going insane with the information. “Now that you know it wasn’t his fault, can we continue with the same mindset, Daniel-ssi?” Minhyun concluded afterward.

Daniel didn’t said it out loud, but most part of him were screaming in joy that he actually did the right thing of not blaming Seongwoo and not following the company’s way to deal with this – and most importantly, he was just relieved that he knows it was a mistake that wasn’t made by Seongwoo – but the rest of him was still pissed.

“He didn’t visit me or call me even once to tell me all of that, Minhyun-ssi, I thought that was the least thing he could do if it wasn’t really his fault,” Daniel hissed instead.

“You’re right, I told him the same thing, but Seongwoo doesn’t really listen to me, you know, I also told him not to get involved with you but look what he did,” Minhyun replied nonchalantly. 

“I can’t believe you are still out here insulting me,” Daniel snapped.

“He is sorry, Daniel-ssi, trust me, he is more than sorry, he just does not know how to cope up with that because –,” Minhyun paused for a moment and it looked like he was hesitating for awhile before he took out his phone and pushed it to Daniel’s direction as he pressed the play button. 

“ _Minhyun, I think I just broke someone who I wanted to fix the most other than myself_ .” It was a voicemail and it broke Daniel that Seongwoo sounded so devastated. “ _It happened because I was reckless and caught off-guard, I should’ve been more careful_.

“ _I don’t know how to face him, yet, I guess, I don’t know, I am afraid that if I touched him then he will crack even more, Minhyun, you are right, we don’t fix people if we don’t want to break ourselves, the problem is that, it’s Daniel, I don’t know, I keep saying I don’t know, I just like him, okay? I want to try even if I don’t know how, goddammit, how did someone become something in such a short notice? It makes no sense at all_.”

Daniel was speechless, Seongwoo is out there, being guilty as fuck when it’s not even entirely his fault, but the sentence that got Daniel so bewildered is that Seongwoo was also out there saying that he likes Daniel without actually saying it to him in person.

“Do you know why Seongwoo moved to New York at the first place?” Minhyun asked instead when Daniel was still lost inside his dazed mind – so Seongwoo likes him back, suddenly nothing matters more than that anymore. “Because he wanted to fix himself, just like you, he wants to finding his own way to life,” Minhyun added despite Daniel not answering him, but instead, the latter abruptly stood up from his seat and took out his phone.

“I need to see him,” Daniel announced while dialing someone on the phone. “Get me the first flight to New York –,” Daniel was cut by Minhyun’s hand moving away his phone from his ear and gave him an amused gaze.

“Actually, save the trouble, Daniel,”.

 

\---

 

Daniel concluded it in a form of some kind of list inside his mind about the things that he is good at and the thing he sucks at – he is good at playing guitar, composing music, being an ass, annoying Kim Jaehwan, smoking, making disastrous interview, convincing himself that the Starbucks serves good coffee when he knows that it’s far from good and running away from the problem he creates.

And the thing he sucks at is probably trusting people, but trusting Seongwoo is one thing he did out of nowhere and was done in a very quick time, without any warning or any big _danger_ sign, almost feels like that he is meant to trust the older male just like that – it wasn’t the best feeling ever, but Daniel likes it, he likes how he doesn’t even think when he gave in.

It was still snowing when Daniel parked his motorbike in front of a small shop, he have been riding it for like a hour – the address that Minhyun gave is indeed far away from the center of the city. The shop itself smells like old people and cigarette, consisted of a couple of shelf of lots of vinyl, some are attached also to the wall, and the man behind the cashier is around sixty years old.

The only thing familiar from the whole store was the song that was playing in the background is a Hundred and One’s song, from two or three years ago, Daniel couldn’t even remember. It was obvious that a small area behind the shelves is for the people who wanted to try out the vinyl so Daniel decided to grab a certain disk before going to the back of the store.

There was two vinyl-players, one was occupied and another one was not – but Daniel decided to stop his song by removing the disk from the player, and completely caught the person who was listening off guard when Daniel put the disk he took earlier inside the player instead as he took a seat next to the person – Ong Seongwoo was in between surprised, scared and stunned when Daniel lit up the cigarette as he picked out the song.

“Look, don’t listen to that horrendous band you were listening to earlier,” Daniel spoke up first thing first as he inhales the cancerous stick – the smoke that came from his and Seongwoo’s cigarettes become one and suffocated the small room more. “This one is better, and besides, they have a better Daniel.” The intro of the song started to play and the way Seongwoo smiled a little made Daniel’s heart miss a beat for a second.

“This is my favorite,” Seongwoo replied instead. _She had a face straight outta magazine_.

“Robbers is a love song, you know,” Daniel stated.

“Oh, did Matt Healy tell you that?” Seongwoo raised his eyebrow in amusement.

“Something like that, I only quoted things from him, it’s about the hopelessly romantic notion that two people can meet and instantly fall in love, and escape story where love is the highest law and conquers against all odds,” Daniel continued.

“Do you remember all of that just to impress?” Seongwoo let out a small chuckle.

“Yeah, I mean I have to prepare something if I wanted to disturb your afternoon session of crying over my songs, and also because this one is my favorite too.” Daniel shrugged instead.

“I thought you hate The 1975,” Seongwoo reckoned. 

“I hate the idea that you obsessed with them but not with my band.” Daniel smirked and led both of them into silence.

 _Now if you never shoot, you’ll never know_.

“I’m sorry, for everything,” Seongwoo muttered after a long pause. “I’m sorry that I was reckless enough to let all the pictures went online and it forced you to end your hiatus, I am sorry that you got into a fight and most probably bruised your name for a long time, I am sorry that I didn’t visit you sooner or even call you, I am sorry I was a chicken, I am –,” Seongwoo was cut by the way Daniel pressed his lips against his all of the sudden.

And the kiss sucks, because they were both tasted so bitter and desperate, but Daniel wouldn’t mind repeating those all over again, just because he misses Seongwoo. “You don’t apologize for something that is not under your control, Seongwoo,” Daniel muttered when he pulled away, resting his forehead on Seongwoo’s. “However, I am only pissed that you didn’t contact me,” Daniel added afterward.

“Then I’m sorry for that,” Seongwoo said and got Daniel smiling before planting a kiss on the latter’s forehead. “So you don’t like, hate me or something? Like wow, this guy completely ruins my already ruined life?” Seongwoo replied nonchalantly.

“You ruin my life though, but that’s because I like you a lot,” Daniel said as he smiled and played with Seongwoo’s hands.

“I like you too,” Seongwoo replied almost too immediately, which made Daniel broke into a small laugh. 

“Took you so long to say that, I am pretty sure that you just playing with me until the last moment,” Daniel grinned.

“Do you want to know why I went to New York?” Seongwoo asked instead out of the blue – Daniel was half-confused by the suddenness but nodded anyway. “Because Seoul never felt like where I belong, so I left,” Seongwoo said with a small smile playing on his lips. “Like you too, New York is the place that is so loud that you barely think about what it feels like to belong somewhere, it was so busy, it got me thinking of what I want in life, it helps me to see through about myself, but not even New York made me feel like I truly belonged.” Seongwoo added. “As cheesy as it may sound, it started to feel like one when you came.”

“You have a tendency to make people feel like they’re at home, rock star, and you probably don’t realize that.” Seongwoo concluded. “And that’s what I don’t want in life, because I know just like that, that I would follow you just to feel like I’m home, and I never wanted anyone to be happy like I want you to be happy.” Seongwoo sighed.

“Well, I never wanted anyone like I want you, Seongwoo,” Daniel replied. “I never wanted to stay with anyone or anything like I wanted to stay in this crappy vinyl store with you,” Daniel added with a chuckle following statement.

“Great, because I love this crappy store.” Seongwoo grinned before pressing his lips on Daniel’s again, and again.

“Hyung, will you write this on your journal?” Daniel said between the kisses as he smiled.

“Write what?” Seongwoo raised his eyebrow.

“Something like January, I finally, officially am going out with the hot band member, the global icon, Kang Daniel?” Daniel smirked when Seongwoo scoffed right in front of his face.

“Since when?” Seongwoo looked at the latter in amusement.

“Since now. Do you want to go out with me? You can say no to a global icon though.” Daniel shrugged.

“Didn’t it give you chills when you said that by yourself?” Seongwoo sneered.

“It will haunt me forever if you didn’t say yes,” Daniel replied instead.

“That sounds like a fantastic idea, the thought that it will haunt you forever,” Seongwoo said nonchalantly.

“I have been through bad things in life, why would you want to add that on my list?” Daniel frowned. “I trusted you, I made exceptions for you,” Daniel continued to whine.

“Okay, let’s do this,” Seongwoo said at the end and made Daniel smiled so wide he had to move his seat even closer to Seongwoo.

“Hey, but, it’s kind of come with a numerous do and don’t, because you know, my condition is not the most suitable to date, will you be up for that?” Daniel said as he cupped Seongwoo’s cheek.

“Well, I’m always up for challenge though.” Seongwoo shrugged.

“Let’s practice, so what will you say if they asked you what do you think of me?” Daniel smirked as Seongwoo circled his hands on Daniel’s nape before he acted like he have to think hard and long enough until Daniel had to kiss him again before Seongwoo shrugged, again.

 

“My boyfriend is a conceited rock star, but I can barely resist him anyway,”.


	2. the city that stays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> seongwoo and daniel in new york, again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> because i said [this](https://twitter.com/nyelness/status/1010529764388421632) and [this](https://twitter.com/Neoma_ongniel/status/1011077461516447749) happened.
> 
> i should stay quite from now on lmao
> 
> Also this is unbeta-ed so,,, im sorry for the mistakes :')
> 
> and im not really sure about the chapter like ... im sorry if its bad :/
> 
> but nonetheless, i hope you enjoy this weird chapter!

Kang Daniel took a deep breath once again and turns out it didn’t help his nerves as much as he needs it to at that moment. Being on an interview should be a piece of cake for him – for goddess’s sake it has been years since his debut and he is not some other rookie, he is Kang fucking Daniel, he has the entire nation on the palm of his goddamn hand – what is he so nervous for?

“Nope, definitely cross that away.” Daniel eyed Jisung, who has been personally reviewing all the questions that are going to be asked, especially the one that will be given to him – they were inside the waiting room, before _Hundred and One_ goes on a live interview for the first time after ending their hiatus – which is approximately a month ago.

 _Why go on a hiatus? Does it have anything to do with Daniel breaking down on stage?_ That was the first question that Jisung threw away, and every other question that mentions anything about Daniel crying on the stage. “If you want to cry, then it’s your right, you don’t owe the public an explanation about that particular thing, Daniel, at least I can still protect you that way.” Daniel has always liked Jisung from the first place, but right then, Daniel wanted to just hug the older male.

“You okay?” Jaehwan’s voice distracted him for a second – Jaehwan probably knows it that he is not okay, the latter is just asking for the sake of confirmation.

“I’m functioning decently,” Daniel replied nonchalantly.

“What if they asked something about us?” Jaehwan gave a shit-eating grin instead.

“Don’t worry Jaehwan, the last thing that they would want to know is that we are actually fucking each other and that’s the sole reason why you are the one who is with me in New York is that we are trying to make tons of babies,” Daniel scoffed sarcastically.

“Dude, but imagine the headline though? _Hundred and One’s front man and guitarist are sucking each other’s dick behind the scene_.” Jaehwan laughed – sometimes Daniel hates Jaehwan more than he already is – and even Jonghyun grimaced at Jaehwan’s statement and that is saying something.

It took Jisung another fifteen minutes to finally approve the list of questions before he dismissed the staffs and eyed Daniel immediately. “They’ll ask you about Seongwoo,” Jisung stated afterward and Daniel expected it anyway. _Why the fuck Ong Seongwoo has a shitload of Kang Daniel’s breathtaking and exclusive pictures that even his fansites couldn’t get any privilege of?_ A simpler question like _who is Ong Seongwoo_ or _since when they are friends_ has been circulating between their fans for weeks now but none of them actually has the answer.

“You should think of an answer to something inclusive like who actually he is or what kind of relationship he has with you, you know, just enough to give your fans more of an explanation, but nothing too much,” Jisung instructed with a slight hesitation near the end. “And you can’t tell them that he is your boyfriend yet,” Jisung added.

Daniel was about to open his mouth before shutting it right away when Jisung gave him the look. It is beyond question that announcing his relationship right after his sudden hiatus, his recent scandal and right after the pictures blown up, will create a definite chaos for better or worse. Daniel understands that much – the outcome and the consequences – because it has always been like that. Because people will always put Daniel on the wrong side of an issue.

But there’s a _yet_ on Jisung’s sentence though and Daniel has always liked that word – it means something good might occur in the middle of Daniel’s fucked up situation, hopefully.

“Then what am I suppose to say? And what if Seongwoo is watching? Do you expect me to just say that he is only my friend?” Daniel burst, even though it is completely unnecessary but at least Daniel tried.

“There is a _friend_ in boyfriend too, so you are like only half lying.” Jaehwan shrugged from the side and Daniel was that close to throw the chair to his face.

“Jaehwan has a point and you have your answer, so deliver it just like that, period,” Jisung concluded the argument before it gets too tense – they are doing an interview in fifteen minutes for fuck sake and the last thing Jisung needs right then is Daniel in the mood of ripping someone’s head off.

Daniel responded by standing up abruptly and leaving the room hastily afterward, most probably to smoke – Daniel is actually pretty predictable like that. “He will never stop doing that, will he not?” Jonghyun chuckled instead. “Honestly what is a meeting without him doing that though?” Jihoon complied with another slight laugh before turning his attention back to his phone.

“I’ll check on him,” Jaehwan announced out of the blue – which made the other three raised their eyebrow at him in unison, it was pretty amusing.

“If you both come back with an even bitterer mood then I am personally going to make your life miserable, Jaehwan, I don’t need any more of your petty, stupid mouth fight with him right now.” It was an empty threat, Jaehwan knows that but he also knows not to risk anything anymore right then.

“You have too little faith in me, hyung.” Jaehwan snickered before he left the room too and asked one of their managers outside where Daniel went – and as expected, Daniel is just at the back of the building and smoking while paying full attention to his phone screen.

“He has a point you know, Jisung hyung,” Jaehwan started off, leaning to the wall beside Daniel and it is actually cold as fuck since it is still January.

“Jisung hyung always has a point whether you like it or not,” Daniel replied as he blew out a smoke from his mouth.

“Your relationship with Seongwoo is not something you want to share with the whole world, Daniel, trust me, I feel like I know that much.” Jaehwan continued, a smoke came out from his mouth too but it was because of the winter’s air.

“I know that much too,” Daniel replied flatly. “I am pissed because for once you are right about how New York will never going to be something permanent. Because the truth is this is our life, Jaehwan and we chose to love and live it and dragging Seongwoo into this mess is unfair, he has a life too,” Daniel reckoned while inhaling his cigarette slowly.

“This is just one reminder that we have a different way of life, and this kind of reminder will be a constant thing, and Seongwoo hyung will be continually seen as just my friend and fuck, it irritates me to the bone.” Daniel snorted.

“I don’t know you care so much about how the people see you or Seongwoo hyung, Daniel, last time I check you were drunk on national television because the last thing you give a damn about is people’s opinion, especially about yourself.” Jaehwan scoffed.

“I am a changed man, Jaehwan, you should know that the best.” Daniel sneered as he nudged Jaehwan’s arm.

“And you should know that I am allergic to bullshit, yours in particular.” Jaehwan laughed in disdain.

“Well, you should know that I am trying.” Daniel shrugged instead as he lit up another stick.

“Now that is something I can agree on,”.

 

\---

 

Ong Seongwoo never thought that he would actually spend his sleeping time in front of his laptop screen, streaming some idol stuffs like a ridiculously scripted interview but looking at Daniel trying to behave and not snapping at a question is something worth watching at seven in the morning. Daniel is even fidgeting and Seongwoo couldn’t help but laugh a little too much while paying attention to Daniel’s idol’ antic.

Seongwoo came back to New York sometime after New Year’s Eve. He remembers how Jaehwan threw a small party and he had to excuse himself from his family annual dinner but it was worth it. He remembers how they drank a little too much and Daniel couldn’t stop kissing him on the hallway before counting down the seconds into New Year – Daniel kissed him again afterward and they ended up tiptoeing while getting out from Jaehwan’s place.

He almost could feel how Daniel leaned his head on his shoulder at the back of the taxi and his hand squeezed Seongwoo’s cold one almost too tightly as if Seongwoo is going away if he let go even a bit – as if Seongwoo could let go of Daniel.

Kang Daniel, as long as Seongwoo remembers, is still the most stunning object that he had ever encountered. He is a different kind of beautiful, he has that kind of spell that will draw people into him and willingly let themselves drown into madness. Maybe that is why despite everything Daniel had done he still has a big amount of fans – maybe because Daniel has always been an art, and art doesn’t always look pretty.

And Seongwoo isn’t even going to deny that Daniel pulls him closer to the edge of his sanity even when the younger barely doing something.

“Now is the time for the question we have all been waiting for, Daniel, who is Ong Seongwoo? We know from the press conference that he is your friend, but the fans wanted to know more about your relationship with him.” The interviewer smiled widely at Daniel, and for once Seongwoo saw how Daniel actually focusing on a question.

“He’s a good friend,” Daniel answered swiftly – the term friend rolled out from his tongue so easily and it amused Seongwoo. “We met when I stayed in New York and he’s a really nice guy, that’s why we get along well,” Daniel continued afterward – and then Daniel goes on explaining one two things about his wellbeing in New York before Seongwoo closed his laptop.

He got up from his bed and head out to the bathroom. Ten minutes later, he grabbed his camera and his black sling bag before going out from his unit, perfectly dressed in his long black coat and scarf around his neck – January in New York is literally the most vicious cold weather ever and Seongwoo doesn’t want to die frozen yet.

He is just one step out of the building when his phone rang all of the sudden, and nonetheless, Seongwoo picked it up without seeing the caller. “ _How are you already awake?_ ” Seongwoo knows the voice too well now and it entertained him how Daniel still sounds so cockily demanding even from across the globe.

“It’s like eight in the morning,” Seongwoo answered nonchalantly as he walked on the pavement.

“ _You watched the interview, you woke up to watch me_.” Seongwoo could almost hear his smug grin from the phone.

“You called me right after you finished, I mean, we can fight about who is more whipped right here but I have things to do, Daniel, I am not a global icon who makes money whenever he breathes,” Seongwoo taunted and Daniel burst into a laughter.

“ _At the very least you admit that I make money even when I’m doing nothing, imagine being that precious_ ,” Daniel sneered back and Seongwoo honestly doesn’t know why is he willing to keep up with Daniel’s shit up until then. _“Did you watch the entire thing?”_ Daniel sounds gentler afterward.

“I didn’t, I told you I have some places to be at,” Seongwoo replied with a smile, even though he knows that Daniel wouldn’t be able to see it.

“ _Look, you know, don’t watch the rerun then, because we talked about you and I called you ugly_.” Daniel chuckled but there was a reluctant pause in between.

“Well thank you for being such a nice boyfriend,” Seongwoo answered with an eye roll that he is very sure that Daniel can’t see.

“ _Hey, we need to talk though like I know we are talking right now,_ but _I need to talk to you about something_ ,” Daniel replied instead with a slight bitterness and Seongwoo kind of get the idea about what the younger wants to talk about.

In all honesty, Seongwoo isn’t mad that Daniel called him a good friend instead of a boyfriend – he understands that much that Daniel’s job is perfectly demanding and dating is probably considered as much as a flaw. Besides, Seongwoo really doesn’t give any damn and really doesn’t want to be terrorized by the media and fans – but Daniel sounded so serious that he decided not joke about it.

“Okay.” Seongwoo nodded along when he replied.

“ _I miss you,_ hyung,” Daniel said afterward, making Seongwoo’s lips curled its way up.

“ _And New York too_ ,”.

 

\---

 

Daniel has been chanting protests when his manager dragged him from his house to the company’s building that afternoon – he hates meeting, he hates having to tell the A&R team that he doesn’t have the new song yet and that they should just release something old that was not good enough to be released, he hates that he has to go back to work when he is still feeling like he is the bad guy, he hates that the only thing he wants at that moment is to go back to hiatus.

Daniel sounds like he is being a childish dickhead, but what the fuck is new about that? And when Daniel was trying to fix himself, they just have to ruin it. Ending his hiatus abruptly is never on his agenda, but then it just got worse – like how he is actually scheduled to shoot a commercial.

“In New York,” Jisung added immediately like it was a magic word to shut Daniel up.

“Whoa, what? We are filming a watch commercial in New York all of the sudden?” Jaehwan responded right after.

“Exactly. And you guys cannot say no, because it has been a month after the press conference and you still haven’t released anything, you didn’t attend any award or year-end shows either,” Jisung’s assistant replied instead. “We agreed upon ending the hiatus, not to go back to it after promising to the fans.” The assistant added after a brief hesitation.

“Look, we have been over this topic over and over again, I know this is none of your plan to be pulled right back in and get back to work immediately, but things happened and went wrong –.”

“They just hate it to see me happy,” Daniel snapped rather lazily – Jisung is right, they have discussed this matter too many times for fuck’ sake.

“Daniel, we have been through this, so stop acting like a five-years-old,” Jisung replied sternly. “I gave you four a hiatus because I know you needed it and still need it, but like I have told you, we don’t always get what we want.” Jisung sighed deeply. “So, please spare me this time.”

“When do we leave?” Jonghyun decided to shift the topic before blood is spilled inside the room – he knows how Daniel could get at his worst. And Jonghyun also knows that most part of it is not because Daniel is but being immature, because they have been through things and the way they deal with their own personal struggle is different from each other, and Daniel just vents it through anger most of the times.

When Daniel cried, Jonghyun is probably the first one to understand among the others – he is the leader after all. How long can someone actually hold so much inside his head and live behind the walls that he built for himself? Or how long can the walls actually protect him before it turns against him and kills him inside slowly?

Jonghyun always has the soft spot for Daniel, just because he knows how hard the people are to him. Truthfully, at his best, Daniel is a really nice kid. Daniel is the kind of person who could light up the whole room and it is rather a regret to know that only a handful of people is able to witness that side of Daniel.

So when Daniel first went all about the hiatus, Jonghyun decided that maybe they all need it – maybe they all need a distraction in some sort of way to find themselves again, especially Daniel. Jisung agreed as well, and that’s the sole reason why Jisung is letting them go for an amount of time.

And Jonghyun saw how the hiatus works like a wonder in just a short amount of time when he saw those pictures of the Kang Daniel, smiling his heart out like everything else doesn’t matter – he looks genuinely happy, and that’s why Jonghyun thanked Seongwoo the first time he met the male. And even though Seongwoo only looked at him in confusion, he is still content with the change.

But Jonghyun also understands that with their situation at that moment, Jisung is just trying his best to keep them going and whatever happened, had happened and nothing could change the fact that they have given out a statement and promise to come back to their life on stage.

“In three days,” Jisung’s assistant replied instead.

“And I’m giving you a head start, you can fly first and spend your times there, just don’t get caught,” Jisung added as he pointed his hand to Daniel – who is actually lighten up by the statement.

“Thank you.” It almost came out like a whisper but Jisung felt the sincerity enough for the first time in awhile, so he smiled back.

“Just stop being difficult and for the love of the universe, have some fun for me,”.

 

\---

 

Seongwoo is looking aimlessly at the almost full parking lot while the radio is playing some random pop song that Seongwoo hears too much already. He checked his phone once again, but there was nothing. Maybe Daniel is just a bit busy and couldn’t check his phone, so – “What the fuck?” Seongwoo yelled when someone actually opened the passenger seat’ door all of the sudden which startled the hell out of him.

But he immediately calms down when he saw a very familiar face, peeking inside the car. “What kind of person doesn’t lock the damned car’s door? There are some legitimate criminals out there for your information.” Seongwoo sighed at the latter’s protest but grinned anyway when he saw the other male slowly giving him a toothy grin.

“Hi,” Daniel greeted almost too casually, as he leaned to the opened car door.

“You should’ve told me that you landed, you didn’t even tell me when you departed, I have to check the schedule all by myself.” Seongwoo retorted back.

“I want to surprise you.” Daniel shrugged nonchalantly as he got inside the car before someone actually got inside the backseat too – Seongwoo immediately turned his head and found Jaehwan grinning as he positioned himself and his bag.

“Sorry to interrupt your lovey-dovey time but company’s order, fellas, and hello to you though, Seongwoo hyung,” Jaehwan greeted as Daniel let out a loud sigh.

“It’s nice to have you here though, Jaehwan.” Seongwoo grinned instead.

“Well, yeah, I know it’s always nice to have me but it’s nice to have hyung too. Because Daniel acts less of a dick when you are around,” Jaehwan replied with a shit-eating grin.

“Well, it’s nice to know that one of my talents is to un-dick Daniel,” Seongwoo smirked.

“That is not actually the case right here, I mean, come on–.” “This is already too much information, goodness, my ears are crying for help,” Jaehwan snapped.

“I swear if you could just leave him in the middle of somewhere in Brooklyn, I would be more than ecstatic,” Daniel commented as he turned his head to Seongwoo’s direction when the latter began to drive.

“So fucking rude after all the things I have done for you,” Jaehwan replied.

They spent some more times bickering over how Jaehwan always on Daniel’s side in every situation and Daniel denying the fact over and over again, a very typical of them both, even Seongwoo has grown accustomed with it. They continued with Daniel explaining the whole detail about their staying to Seongwoo and also the news about recent activities.

“They say that after Daniel’s incident, New York becomes a good place to shoot an advertisement, I don’t know what their marketing strategy is in all honesty, it’s either very brilliant or very stupid,” Jaehwan commented in between their talks.

It was a good ride before they arrived at Seongwoo’s apartment. Daniel swore that he never misses a building so much – and he tried to persuade Jisung about staying there the whole trip, but Jisung didn’t allow him, so he and Jaehwan have to move to the hotel when the other arrived as well.

“You know if you have an extra room, why doesn’t Minhyun hyung stay with you?” Jaehwan said when he put his things inside the room, while Daniel immediately threw himself to the bed – Seongwoo’s bed to be exact.

“How did you know that?” Seongwoo raised his eyebrow in amusement.

“I, uh, talk to him these days.” Jaehwan shrugged after deciding that hiding the fact won’t cause any good anyway.

“Good for him, and maybe for you too.” Seongwoo grinned. “Oh, and also because he hates the area, he likes New York on its calmer side, which is quite ridiculous since New York doesn’t know what being serene is,” Seongwoo added.

“Right, amazing, my head literally never stop ringing whenever I’m here, it’s constantly searching for something, I guess, most probably the donuts across the street from our latest apartment,” Jaehwan replied with a sardonic grin.

“Everyone is always searching for something in here, Jaehwan, that’s why they are here,” Seongwoo reckoned.

“Is that why you are still here? Because Daniel isn’t enough of an answer?” Jaehwan chuckled because it was supposed to be a joke – but Seongwoo’s expression faltered a little, almost not visible but Jaehwan managed to catch it nonetheless and Jaehwan maybe understands the feeling a bit.

“Well, I still have a master degree to be finished,” Seongwoo replied instead and Jaehwan chuckled.

“Nonetheless it’s okay, you know, since an answer shouldn’t be that easy anyway,”.

 

\---

 

Daniel fell asleep as soon as he hit the soft pillow and duvet, and most importantly Seongwoo’s scent all over the place. It must’ve been because of the jetlag too, but Daniel doesn’t care when he had probably the best nap in two weeks before he woke up to an empty room – until he spots Jaehwan leaning on the doorframe. “What the hell, Jaehwan?” Daniel said groggily.

“For your information, it’s not like I was watching you sleeping because that’s fucking creepy and I am not gay for you,” Jaehwan replied almost too flatly. “But, I was about to offer you some donuts and see whether you have woke up or not, but you are in the middle of it, so I decided to just wait.”

“Where’s Seongwoo hyung?” Daniel asked instead.

“Out, he said something about collecting his project or something. Do you want some donuts?” Jaehwan concluded as he lifted up the pink box on his left hand. “Look at us, you just being a wreck and I’m still obsessed over donuts, just like the old times.” Jaehwan smirked afterward.

“What do you mean old times? It was just – oh.” Daniel paused as soon as the realization hit him like a rock, a big massive rock.

“Feels like it was a decade ago, isn’t it?” Jaehwan scoffed. “I realized when the girl that runs the donut’ store was like, oh where have you been?” Jaehwan’ girl voice sucks anyway. “And I was like, I was working, and she smiled, and the thing that bothers me is that she still remembers me, which is fucking something, which means that we were here not long ago,” Jaehwan added.

“Is it supposed to feel like that?” Jaehwan questioned at the end, which made both of them fall into a deep silence.

“Should I be worried that you both are just staring at each other emptily like that?”

Seongwoo’s sudden voice pulled both the guitarist and the frontman back to reality – it was kind of an absurd situation, Jaehwan is still standing there with a box of donuts and Daniel is still looking like a mess. “Nope, goodness, this is so awkward, I swear,” Jaehwan groaned as he moved away from the doorframe and head back to the kitchen.

“Hi again, rock star, did you sleep well?” Seongwoo smirked when Daniel stretched out both of his hands. “No hugs because you stink, by the way,” Seongwoo added and Daniel frowned in response, it is almost adorable.

“You sucks, big time,” Daniel huffed as he pulled Seongwoo’s wrist anyway and kissed him when their faces were close enough – and the kiss is kind of weird since Seongwoo landed more on the side of Daniel’s lips, but he soon adjusted their positions so Daniel could kiss him better.

Seongwoo ended up on the top of Daniel, still pressing his lips against the latter’s, craving for more – it has been two weeks, less maybe, but the longing feelings are almost severe and intoxicating – it is almost like they couldn’t get enough of each other.

Seongwoo let out a small laugh when Daniel pulled away and started to kiss his jaw, his hands roamed underneath Seongwoo’s loose grey t-shirt. “Do you want to go to Times Square?” Seongwoo proposed all of the sudden before Daniel could get any further.

“Like now?” Daniel raised his eyebrow in confusion – they are already in a very suitable position to just get on with it and then the older just have to ruin the moment.

“Like now.” Seongwoo laughed when he saw Daniel’s face.

“We could ruin your duvet but you want to go to Times Square instead?” Daniel scrunched up his nose, still in disbelief.

“Yeah.” Seongwoo nodded with a kittenish smile. “We can get some Ben and Jerry’s.”

“Are you for real? I’m like already a quarter hard and you want to get some ice cream instead?” Daniel gasped in disbelief as Seongwoo cupped his face before he nodded. “You are so fucking lucky that I fucking like you, Seongwoo hyung.” Daniel let out a sigh.

“Is that a yes?” Seongwoo raised his eyebrow when Daniel gave him a light peck.

“You owe me one, like we are going to do it later until Jaehwan prays to the sky that he could take back his acceptance to come with me to New York.” Daniel smirked.

“Jaehwan is already praying right now,” Seongwoo replied with a smirk that mirrored the younger’s one. “Oh, and also, I forgot to tell you this, earlier,”

“Welcome back, rock star,”.

 

\---

 

“I hope this ice cream is worth it,” Daniel taunted when they both got out from the shop in the middle of Times Square – it was crowded as fuck but honestly, when will it not? And it’s not like Daniel hates Times Square – it is probably one of top place on his bucket list, and it never ceases to amaze Daniel how fucking alive a city could be.

“The ice cream worth just fine,” Seongwoo replied as he scooped the last spoon before offering it to Daniel, which the latter took gladly.

“This is nice but this can’t be tastier than me or fancier than me, and I am like the twenty-four-carat gold.” Daniel grinned smugly – Seongwoo still doesn’t know why he could tolerate that much.

“Hold up, global icon, it is very impressive that you don’t want to puke when you said all of that yourself,” Seongwoo commented rather seriously as they blend in with the crowd.

“When will that nickname die though? I’m asking for a friend.” Daniel shrugged as he searched for Seongwoo’s free hand and interlaced their fingers together. Daniel always likes how it feels so right to be in Seongwoo’s palm – Seongwoo’s hands are still cold as ever, but Daniel doesn't mind them.

“How can I forget your first impression though? You came up to me and said you can’t let me go.” Seongwoo grinned.

“I have never left a better first impression than that,” Daniel said in return, smiling all the way when Seongwoo turned his head to his direction – and the smile is so genuine that Seongwoo wants to make it last forever, and so he did. He stopped both of them and lifted up his camera to his face – for goddesses’ sake, how can a person be so sincerely breathtaking?

“Calling yourself a global icon is the best impression you have ever given?” Seongwoo sneered when he looked at the picture he took and Daniel leaned closer to see the result as well.

“No, telling you that I can’t let you go because I read the wholesome of your journal is,” Daniel muttered as they both lifted up their faces from the camera screen.

“Even though I sounded like a clingy teenage girl back then but whatever, I got you anyway,” Daniel added, and right then, Seongwoo laughed before he leaned closer and left a kiss on Daniel’s cheek.

“It’s on you though, for being a very nice photo object that I am keeping you,” Seongwoo commented.

“Oh, I am just an object, I see.” Daniel faked a scoff as he took Seongwoo’s hands again before they continue walking.

“Also, because you have an insanely pretty, sunshine kind of smile,” Seongwoo added.  
“Have you ever run out of compliments for me? Because they are absolutely nice but, it somewhat burdens me, if I feel like that myself then it wouldn’t but hyung, see, I am still the bad guy. My band was on hiatus, still because of me. I even ruined it more,” Daniel ranted.

“Nope, you see, Daniel, you only don’t feel like it because nobody ever really tells you that, and I am here to make sure that you know. Even if you are not my boyfriend, I would still do that, because you are deserved to be seen by everyone like how I see you.” Seongwoo squeezed Daniel hand, just for the younger to know that he meant it.

“Even up until now, you still want to fix me.” Daniel smiled again.

“Right now, rather than fixing, I want you to give more credits to yourself,” Seongwoo replied instead.

“For being an art?” Daniel raised his eyebrow more in a joking manner, but Seongwoo looks like he really meant every word.

“For being an art.” Seongwoo nodded.

“You are only like this in New York though? This city has its own special effect, is it not?” Daniel nudged Seongwoo’s arm playfully.

“This city is a disaster, honestly.” Seongwoo shrugged nonchalantly.

“But it’s a comfortable one,” Daniel added and made Seongwoo burst into a laugh.

“Just like you, Daniel,”.

 

\---

 

They ended up watching a movie at Nitehawk Cinema – they bought some popcorn and two big bottles of soda, also some candies – actually the most normal date that they have ever had. When they were in Seoul, they didn’t really go out because obviously, Daniel is hunted everywhere and one mistake could lead to a massive mess so Seongwoo doesn’t really want to risk it.

Also, Seoul feels more intimidating because they both feel like they are being watched constantly meanwhile nobody really gives a fuck in New York – Daniel swore he could strip naked at any moment and no one would say a thing, maybe one or two people but that’s it. New York doesn’t demand anything for them, especially not perfection like Seoul does.

New York is just New York, it is just the city where people go when they feel like they need to be born again – it is just the city where two people met like it was a coincidence, finding themselves in each other, discovering liberality in each other’s presence and end up being together.

“I want to show you something,” Seongwoo proposed when they got out from the cinema building.

“I am glad that you are aware that I still need you to be my instant tour guide,” Daniel replied but nonetheless he followed Seongwoo, just like he always does.

They arrived at their destination around fifteen minutes later, and Daniel knows the place since it is a huge-ass bridge in the middle of the city. “Brooklyn Bridge,” Seongwoo muttered when they are right in front of it – it is almost midnight but the bridge is far from dead – they are still people and cars passing by.

Reaching the middle of it, Daniel realizes how beautiful New York actually is at night – all the lights in the middle of urban society, truly the city that never sleeps even for a blink, truly the perfect city where you want to find yourself again, because everything makes senses in New York, even though it is not supposed to.

“Stand there,” Seongwoo instructed as he brought his camera close to his face, as he captured Daniel once again, with the whole city lights as his background – Daniel fits perfectly just like that.

“They said that this bridge is so romantic that is has the power to turn a platonic relationship into something more,” Seongwoo explained while Daniel was admiring the view.

“Should’ve been here sooner, we are that something more already.” Daniel let out a puny laugh.

“What something more? Your relationship with me is only based on the fact that you haven’t paid me a single buck for all the guiding I gave you these past months,” Seongwoo cut in.

“Too easy hyung, I’m just going not to pay you for the rest of my life,” Daniel scoffed in victory.

“I’m going to file a report and sue you,” Seongwoo threaten when Daniel wrapped his arms around Seongwoo’s waist.

“Fine, do it,” Daniel challenged when Seongwoo crossed his arms in front of his chest.

“You wanted to talk about something,” Seongwoo suddenly stated, when Daniel let go of him to lean on the bridge’s railing. “After you accused me to be ugly on the national television.” Seongwoo raised his eyebrow in curiosity.

“Oh yeah, about that,” Daniel replied – the hesitation is real and Seongwoo could almost cut it. “I didn’t call you ugly, hyung, I could never.” Daniel let out a nervous chuckle. “I did call you a friend, you know, just friend.” He finally added and Seongwoo thank goodness because he is right about his suspicion.

“You actually called me a good friend, well, it is a level higher than just friend, right?” Seongwoo replied instead.

“I knew it that you watched!” Daniel half-yelled before breaking down into laughter that died down like five seconds later. “I’m sorry about that,” He muttered as he reached for Seongwoo’s hands to hold.

“Honestly, I’m like really fine with it, I mean, being your friend already ruin my plan to live my life quietly, imagine if they know that I am your boyfriend.” Seongwoo reckoned. “They’ll go nuts, and the media will hunt me down and I am so going to be dead that even New York can’t save me.” Seongwoo chuckled – but Daniel only responded with a faint smile.

“I’m sorry about that too,” Daniel added afterward. “I’m sorry that I can’t tell the whole world that you are my boyfriend yet.”

Seongwoo feels into a silence before reaching out his hand to touch Daniel’s face and caress it gently. “Daniel, I don’t need that. I don’t need us to declare what we are to the world. It feels okay as long as we both know what we are,” Seongwoo replied. “I’m okay with us right now, the fact that whatever happens between us, stays with us only,” Seongwoo added at the end. “So stop worrying.”

“I’m glad to hear that because me too,” Daniel replied with a more genuine smile that time around – it almost melt Seongwoo.

“Anything else? I am going to be so mad if you only want to talk about that,” Seongwoo joked.

“Actually there is, I wanted to ask you about something.” Daniel let out a sigh. “Are you going to stay in New York after you graduate?”

Well, that is something else, even Seongwoo hasn’t really thought about it. New York has been a very nice city to him, but it isn’t home and Daniel feels like home, that’s what Seongwoo been looking for – something to go back to at the end of the day.

“I don’t know, I haven’t really decided anyway.” Seongwoo shrugged nonchalantly.

“But do you want to stay?” Daniel asked again, pulling out a stick of cigarette from his navy coat and light it up.

What does Seongwoo want? He never thought about spending the rest of his life in New York either even though New York has some of Seongwoo’s best nights, including his meeting with Daniel and New York got the kind of lights that will never die. There is no reason for him to leave the city.

“Do you? Like, you know, do you want to if you were me?” Seongwoo asked back, just because he still doesn’t have an answer.

“If I were you, then yeah, most probably. I fell in love with New York long before I explore its edges, and now, it also because it has you in it.” Daniel reasoned. “Jaehwan pointed it out something earlier and it made us realize how New York feels like this is where we belong already, which is kind of fucked up because we have a life in Seoul that we can’t just leave,” Daniel said.

“You know most importantly, I can truly give no fuck in here, I can be myself in here,” Daniel added.

“Then should we stay?” It was an impossible question, even for Seongwoo, let alone Daniel.

“Maybe someday when it less complicated,” Daniel answered instead with a small smile and Seongwoo can’t resist kissing the younger male.

“Why New York? I know it’s loud, I know it gives no fuck, I know it literally offers you every moment to be yourself and it gave you a chance to be born again, but why?” Seongwoo asked out of curiosity.

“I guess because the city makes you think, so you are constantly searching for something, so you know, I can constantly moving, only dead people stop searching, hyung,” Daniel responded.

“What if you found an answer someday?” Seongwoo tilted his head.

“Doesn’t mean you have to stop searching, there are too many questions to be asked, so why stop after you finding out one? Besides, an answer shouldn’t stop you, it should drive you to explore more about things, about the world,” Daniel answered.

“You are so good with words, have I told you that?” Seongwoo chuckled instead – but maybe Daniel is right. It isn’t about stopping after finding one answer, and Daniel isn’t just an answer – Daniel is more like an endless layer of questions that Seongwoo has to find out slowly and he is pretty sure that it is going to take him a very long time – Seongwoo isn’t complaining though.

“You have, and I’m a lyricist after all, what do you fucking expect?” Daniel laughed.

“Right, and you even tried to write a journal, I get it, you are an all-rounder global icon,” Seongwoo taunted, which made Daniel squint his eyes in disdain.

“Can we all here agree to forget about my dark past,” Daniel huffed.

“There is no way, Daniel,” Seongwoo laughed back.

“So, we are going to be long distance again when I go home?” Daniel asked all of the sudden – ways to shift the topic.

“Yeah, I guess, we still have to do our own things, and finish the problems that we created.” Seongwoo shrugged – and in all honesty, he misses Daniel already.

“Visit me sometimes though,” Daniel said – there is no anger or annoyance, just purely hopeful.

“I will,”.

 

\---

 

Jaehwan stomped his feet when he managed to climb the three stories building in only-god-knows-where and he just fucking hope he doesn’t get killed or something. He only went to the address that Seongwoo sent to him six in the morning and for fuck’s sake, he doesn’t even know why he didn’t decide to ignore the message instead.

“I fucking swear,” Jaehwan said when he opened the door that leads to a room but immediately stopped when he noticed that it was actually a recording studio – and Daniel is actually inside the booth, a melody echoed inside the room and he is positive that Seongwoo is half sleeping on the couch.

“Morning,” Seongwoo greeted lazily – he sounded half-alive. “Please explain,” Jaehwan demanded as he took a seat just beside Seongwoo.

“I don’t know, I mean, we went out and we got home at one in the morning? I can’t recall right now, but then we, uh, do kinds of stuff, and after that we were trying to sleep for like a half of an hour, and I remember it was like four or five in the morning and Daniel suddenly said that he needs a recording studio fast, and I have to call every friend I have in the town to get him this place, and he has been working on the song since then, and oh, he told you to come to record the demo,” Seongwoo explained nonstop with a groggy voice.

“Daniel is an asshole, you should fucking dump him, man,” Jaehwan said as he leaned back to the couch.

“What? I should fuck and dry hump him?” Seongwoo raised his eyebrow.

“Fucking, dump, him! Stop tainting my ears for goodness’ sake, you both are truly the spawn of Satan.” Jaehwan protested.

“I’m sorry, I haven’t slept and I’m like super tired right now.” Seongwoo chuckled. “Anyway, this song sounds really good already,” The older male added as he nods along to the beat – so does Jaehwan.

“It does, I mean, Daniel is actually good at something, thankfully,” Jaehwan snorted.

“Anyway, I have something to tell you,” Seongwoo said out of the blue. “You know, someone told me that it is not about finding an answer and stop, it’s about being driven to search for another question after you find an answer, that’s why it is good if the city makes you feel like always searching for something. Because only dead people stop,” Seongwoo explained.

“So, Daniel isn’t just an answer after all,” Seongwoo added at the end.

“That’s a nice speech, who’s that someone though? Nostradamus?” Jaehwan smiled.

“Daniel, actually.” Seongwoo shrugged, before smiling back to the latter.

“Finally, something nice came out from that mouth other than bullshit,” Jaehwan scoffed.

“Also, I think I’m going to go back to Seoul for awhile after I graduate.” Seongwoo suddenly announced.

“Why are you telling me that?” Jaehwan asked instead.

“Because I am not telling him since he surprised me yesterday, I should surprise him back, right? And I figure that you are probably up to torture him.” Seongwoo smirked.

“You know that I always like you, right, hyung? Daniel doesn’t deserve you,” Jaehwan laughed – and at the same time, Daniel came out from the booth.

“Great, you are here, I need you to –.” “Record the demo, got it, Jisung hyung is going to be thrilled that he might extend our stay,” Jaehwan cut in before he got up and entered the booth.

“That sounds like it will break the chart already, that’s enough of a payment,” Seongwoo said as he looked up to return Daniel’s gaze.

“Thank you,” Daniel murmured as he kissed Seongwoo before landing on top of him and wrapped the older with his arm.

“Look at all the efforts I made to make your life less miserable,” Seongwoo snorted as Daniel changed their position on the couch so that he could spoon the latter, and continue to pepper Seongwoo with small kisses.

“Your presence is enough to make my life less miserable,” Daniel hummed, which Seongwoo replied with a groan.

“Got it, rock star, now quite, I am trying to sleep,”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you can hit me up on twt/cc @nyelness
> 
> anyways, leave me some loves <3

**Author's Note:**

> I'll tell you a secret that you probably already know, but later ;)
> 
> hit me up on twitter @[nyelness](https://twitter.com/nyelness)
> 
> or my cc [nyelness](https://curiouscat.me/nyelness)
> 
> give me some love peeps! cheers!


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